HET BRUIDSKANT VAN VIOLET/BELANGRIJKER DAN HET HARTZEER VAN HAAR ZOON…
VIOLET BRIDGERTON/KRITIEK/HET BRUIDSKANT EN DE DOOD/VIOLET”S REALITEIT VERSUS ANTHONY’S WANHOOP
””Ik denk, dat op DAT moment de emotionele Kloof tussen moeder Violet en zoon Anthony het grootst was.
Hij, nog natrillend van de adrenaline en zijn bijna dood ervaring, de kamer binnenkomend
en zij, zijn moeder, die niet eens naar hem kijkt, niets opmerkt, verloren in haar status-sociale droom van het ”Society Huwelijk van dochter Daphne….”
”Het meest schokkende in de emotionele kloof tussen moeder Violet en zoon
Anthony was de scene waarin hij na het duel [dat nooit had plaatsgehad
vanwege de moedige interventie van Daphne] [40], thuiskomt, nog natrillend
van de adrenaline omdat hij de dood in het aangezicht heeft gezien…..[41]
Hij komt dus de kamer binnen en treft Violet aan, midden tussen stoffen
voor het aanstaande huwelijk van zijn zuster Daphne.
Zijn moeder kijkt nauwelijks op en zegt iets als ”O ben je daar”, we moeten
beslissen welk soort kant Daphne zal dragen op haar huwelijksdag” en ze
voegt er ook nog aan toe hoe ”belangrijk” dat wel niet is….[42]
Voor de emotionele ontreddering van haar zoon heeft zij totaal geen oog …….”
Anthony’s Realiteit: Hij heeft zojuist oog in oog gestaan met de dood. Hij was bereid te sterven om de eer van zijn familie (en die van Daphne) te verdedigen, maar ook om te ontsnappen aan de onmogelijke druk die op zijn schouders rust. Hij keert naar huis terug als een man die mentaal en emotioneel “op” is.
Violet’s Realiteit: Zij zit letterlijk te midden van luxe, omringd door zijde en kant, en maakt zich zorgen over de uiterlijke schijn van Daphne’s naderende bruiloft.
De Confrontatie (De Sfeer)
Wanneer Anthony de kamer binnenkomt, is hij lijkbleek en diep geraakt. Violet kijkt nauwelijks op van de stoffen en zegt iets in de geest van: “Anthony, daar ben je. We moeten beslissen over het kant voor Daphne’s japon. Het is een zaak van groot belang.”
In jouw woorden: zij zeurt over kant terwijl hij letterlijk de dood in de ogen heeft gekeken.
Waarom dit “Afstotelijk” is in jouw Analyse:
Het Totale Gebrek aan Intuïtie: Als moeder claimt Violet altijd te weten wat haar kinderen nodig hebben. Hier faalt haar moederinstinct echter volkomen. Ze ziet de “Viscount” die zijn plicht vervult, maar ze ziet de zoon over het hoofd die bijna zijn leven gaf.
De Prijs van Haar Druk: Zoals je terecht opmerkt, was zijn “doodswens” deels het gevolg van haar constante druk. Zij manoeuvreerde hem in een positie waarin hij geloofde dat een duel de enige eervolle uitweg was. Het feit dat zij alleen oog heeft voor Daphne’s jurk, maakt haar mede-verantwoordelijk voor zijn diepe eenzaamheid op dat moment.
De Nabije Catastrofe: Zoals je al zei: ze had het nieuws van zijn overlijden kunnen ontvangen zonder dat ze wist dat hij in gevaar was. Dit is de ultieme vorm van emotionele afstand.
De Kern van de Zaak
Deze scène legt de leegte bloot van Violet’s “goede bedoelingen”. Terwijl zij zich voorbereidt op een feest van kant en zijde, is haar oudste zoon een schim van een man. Hij is gebroken door precies de wereld die zij zo druk aan het versieren is.
Anthony’s Reality: He has just stood face-to-face with death. He was prepared to die to defend his family’s honor (and Daphne’s), but also to escape the impossible pressure resting on his shoulders. He returns home as a man who is mentally and emotionally “spent.”
Violet’s Reality: She is literally sitting amidst luxury, surrounded by silk and lace, worrying about the outward appearances of Daphne’s upcoming wedding.
The Confrontation (The Atmosphere)
When Anthony enters the room, he is deathly pale and shaken. Violet hardly looks up from the fabrics, saying something to the effect of: “Anthony, there you are. We must decide on the lace for Daphne’s gown. It is a matter of great importance.”
In your words: she is nagging about lace while he has literally looked death in the eye.
Why this is “Repulsive” in your Analysis:
The Total Lack of Intuition: As a mother, Violet always claims to know what her children need, but here, her maternal instinct fails completely. She sees the “Viscount” performing his duty, but she fails to see the son who nearly gave his life.
The Price of Her Pressure: As you correctly point out, his “death wish” was partly the result of her constant pressure. She maneuvered him into a position where he believed a duel was the only honorable way out. The fact that she only has eyes for Daphne’s dress makes her co-responsible for his profound loneliness at that moment.
The Near-Catastrophe: As you said: she could have received news of his death without even knowing he was in danger. This is the ultimate form of emotional distance.
The Bottom Line: This scene exposes the hollowness of Violet’s “good intentions.” While she prepares for a celebration of lace and silk, her eldest son is a ghost of a man, broken by the very world she is so busily decorating.
Anthony’s Reality: He has just stood face-to-face with death. He was prepared to die to defend his family’s honor (and Daphne’s), but also to escape the impossible pressure resting on his shoulders. He returns home as a man who is mentally and emotionally “spent.”
Violet’s Reality: She is literally sitting amidst luxury, surrounded by silk and lace, worrying about the outward appearances of Daphne’s upcoming wedding.
The Confrontation (The Atmosphere)
When Anthony enters the room, he is deathly pale and shaken. Violet hardly looks up from the fabrics, saying something to the effect of: “Anthony, there you are. We must decide on the lace for Daphne’s gown. It is a matter of great importance.”
In your words: she is nagging about lace while he has literally looked death in the eye.
Why this is “Repulsive” in your Analysis:
The Total Lack of Intuition: As a mother, Violet always claims to know what her children need, but here, her maternal instinct fails completely. She sees the “Viscount” performing his duty, but she fails to see the son who nearly gave his life.
The Price of Her Pressure: As you correctly point out, his “death wish” was partly the result of her constant pressure. She maneuvered him into a position where he believed a duel was the only honorable way out. The fact that she only has eyes for Daphne’s dress makes her co-responsible for his profound loneliness at that moment.
The Near-Catastrophe: As you said: she could have received news of his death without even knowing he was in danger. This is the ultimate form of emotional distance.
The Bottom Line: This scene exposes the hollowness of Violet’s “good intentions.” While she prepares for a celebration of lace and silk, her eldest son is a ghost of a man, broken by the very world she is so busily decorating.
Anthony’s Reality: He has just stood face-to-face with death. He was prepared to die to defend his family’s honor (and Daphne’s), but also to escape the impossible pressure resting on his shoulders. He returns home as a man who is mentally and emotionally “spent.”
Violet’s Reality: She is literally sitting amidst luxury, surrounded by silk and lace, worrying about the outward appearances of Daphne’s upcoming wedding.
The Confrontation (The Atmosphere)
When Anthony enters the room, he is deathly pale and shaken. Violet hardly looks up from the fabrics, saying something to the effect of: “Anthony, there you are. We must decide on the lace for Daphne’s gown. It is a matter of great importance.”
In your words: she is nagging about lace while he has literally looked death in the eye.
Why this is “Repulsive” in your Analysis:
The Total Lack of Intuition: As a mother, Violet always claims to know what her children need, but here, her maternal instinct fails completely. She sees the “Viscount” performing his duty, but she fails to see the son who nearly gave his life.
The Price of Her Pressure: As you correctly point out, his “death wish” was partly the result of her constant pressure. She maneuvered him into a position where he believed a duel was the only honorable way out. The fact that she only has eyes for Daphne’s dress makes her co-responsible for his profound loneliness at that moment.
The Near-Catastrophe: As you said: she could have received news of his death without even knowing he was in danger. This is the ultimate form of emotional distance.
The Bottom Line: This scene exposes the hollowness of Violet’s “good intentions.” While she prepares for a celebration of lace and silk, her eldest son is a ghost of a man, broken by the very world she is so busily decorating.
HET BRUIDSKANT VAN VIOLET/BELANGRIJKER DAN HET HARTZEER VAN HAAR ZOON…
HET BRUIDSKANT EN DE DOOD/VIOLET”S REALITEIT/ANTHONY”S WANHOOP
””Ik denk, dat op DAT moment de emotionele Kloof tussen moeder Violet en zoon Anthony het grootst was.
Hij, nog natrillend van de adrenaline en zijn bijna dood ervaring, de kamer binnenkomend
en zij, zijn moeder, die niet eens naar hem kijkt, niets opmerkt, verloren in haar status-sociale droom van het ”Society Huwelijk van dochter Daphne….”
”Het meest schokkende in de emotionele kloof tussen moeder Violet en zoon
Anthony was de scene waarin hij na het duel [dat nooit had plaatsgehad
vanwege de moedige interventie van Daphne] [40], thuiskomt, nog natrillend
van de adrenaline omdat hij de dood in het aangezicht heeft gezien…..[41]
Hij komt dus de kamer binnen en treft Violet aan, midden tussen stoffen
voor het aanstaande huwelijk van zijn zuster Daphne.
Zijn moeder kijkt nauwelijks op en zegt iets als ”O ben je daar”, we moeten
beslissen welk soort kant Daphne zal dragen op haar huwelijksdag” en ze
voegt er ook nog aan toe hoe ”belangrijk” dat wel niet is….[42]
Voor de emotionele ontreddering van haar zoon heeft zij totaal geen oog …….”
Anthony’s Realiteit: Hij heeft zojuist oog in oog gestaan met de dood. Hij was bereid te sterven om de eer van zijn familie (en die van Daphne) te verdedigen, maar ook om te ontsnappen aan de onmogelijke druk die op zijn schouders rust. Hij keert naar huis terug als een man die mentaal en emotioneel “op” is.
Violet’s Realiteit: Zij zit letterlijk te midden van luxe, omringd door zijde en kant, en maakt zich zorgen over de uiterlijke schijn van Daphne’s naderende bruiloft.
De Confrontatie (De Sfeer)
Wanneer Anthony de kamer binnenkomt, is hij lijkbleek en diep geraakt. Violet kijkt nauwelijks op van de stoffen en zegt iets in de geest van: “Anthony, daar ben je. We moeten beslissen over het kant voor Daphne’s japon. Het is een zaak van groot belang.”
In jouw woorden: zij zeurt over kant terwijl hij letterlijk de dood in de ogen heeft gekeken.
Waarom dit “Afstotelijk” is in jouw Analyse:
Het Totale Gebrek aan Intuïtie: Als moeder claimt Violet altijd te weten wat haar kinderen nodig hebben. Hier faalt haar moederinstinct echter volkomen. Ze ziet de “Viscount” die zijn plicht vervult, maar ze ziet de zoon over het hoofd die bijna zijn leven gaf.
De Prijs van Haar Druk: Zoals je terecht opmerkt, was zijn “doodswens” deels het gevolg van haar constante druk. Zij manoeuvreerde hem in een positie waarin hij geloofde dat een duel de enige eervolle uitweg was. Het feit dat zij alleen oog heeft voor Daphne’s jurk, maakt haar mede-verantwoordelijk voor zijn diepe eenzaamheid op dat moment.
De Nabije Catastrofe: Zoals je al zei: ze had het nieuws van zijn overlijden kunnen ontvangen zonder dat ze wist dat hij in gevaar was. Dit is de ultieme vorm van emotionele afstand.
De Kern van de Zaak
Deze scène legt de leegte bloot van Violet’s “goede bedoelingen”. Terwijl zij zich voorbereidt op een feest van kant en zijde, is haar oudste zoon een schim van een man. Hij is gebroken door precies de wereld die zij zo druk aan het versieren is.
[Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.]
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
LADY VIOLET TO HER SON ANTHONY
[1AA]
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [1A]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
HALLO FOLKS,
How are you today, my loyal Readers [HAHAHA]
As you know, I already wrote a lot about Bridgerton [1] and I intend to write more.
And although I’m planning to write about Anthony Bridgerton’s emotional state [Season 1 and 2], the non existing ”Ghost of Edmund” [Season 2] and whether he forgave his mother Violet after her selective excuses in Season 2 [2],
it suddenly struck me that, although I mentioned her crucial role a lot in
other posts [3], I never dedicated a special piece about Lady Violet’s role in the heartbreaking end of the love affair between Anthony Bridgerton
and opera singer Siena Rosso.
And with my weakness for impossible love affairs it is high time to delve deeper into La Violet’s [destructive] role in the Siena Rosso
Affair………. [4]
Perhaps this is not my last Post about this
We’ll see…..
LET’S GO!
LADY VIOLET AND HER SON ANTHONY
THE SEEDS OF TRAUMA
To smart viewers of the Bridgerton series it is crystal clear, that the
completely poisoned and strained relationship between mother Violet
and son Anthony in Season 2, uttering in Anthony’s coldness against his mother [5] stems directly from Anthony’s heartbreak
over the break up with Siena Rosso and his mother’s destructive role [6]
But to be fair:
Their bad relationship didn’t start with the Siena Rosso Affair, but had its roots
in their shared, painful past, going back to the death of Anthony’s father Edmund.
LET’S GO
We see an 18 years old Anthony, watching his father die, causing a trauma and his [pregnant] mother
lost in sorrow, what makes him not only Head of the Family [because of his father’s death, meaning managing the whole Estate and being the
legal guardian of his 7 brothers and sisters ] [7], but
since his mother was initially drowned in her deep mourning, also
burdening with the care of his 7 brothers and sisters.
Moreover, as the Head of the Family, he had to choose, at the difficult birth of his sister Hyacinth [8], between the
life of his mother and his sister [luckily they both survived childbirth, while he ordered the doctor to save them both]
A heavy burden for an 18 year old…..
But you can imagine also Violet’s perspective, also watching her husband
[and Anthony’s father] die [whom she loved very much], pregnant, knowing her new baby will never see its father, struggling through a
dangerous childbirth and forced to leave the decision over her future
[whether she or her baby must be saved, if a medical
choice has to be made about which of the two should stay alive] into the hands of her 18 years son, whom she
doubtless doesn’t want to burden with something he doesn’t understand at all!
MOTHER AND SON/VISCOUNT AND DOWAGER VISCOUNTESS
The death trauma [since both watched father and husband die]
and the Childbirth trauma [see above] are only the Beginning.
More to come:, which is particularly a burden for the 18 years old
Anthony.
Not yet recovered from the shock of his father’s sudden death
and having faced his mother near death during childbirth, it is
not an exaggeration to say that his carefree youth is over.
Normally you get some support and warmth from your mother,
but not in Anthony’s case.
That’s not completely Violet’s fault.
In the first period after her husband’s death she is so consumed
with grief, that she is incapable to do anything.
However understandable the deep mourning of Violet, that’s a heavy burden for young Anthony,
who not only becomes the new Viscount and the legal Head
of the Family, what makes him legally responsible for his 7 brothers and sisters.
And of course he has to manage the whole Estate and has the duty to marry his off sisters. [9]
And on top of that, he had to take care for his 7 brothers and
sisters, a task that normally his mother had to perform.
REPEATING:
So in the initial period Anthony not only had to do his legal
obligations, a heavy burden on an inexperienced young man
of 18 years, but also to fulfil his mother’s care for his brothers and
sisters.
In modern terms we call that
Parentification [10]
You’d think his mother would have appreciated his efforts and showed it,
but that was not the case.
Not only she was too much drown in her own continuing grief,
that she took everything he did for granted, in most
cases she was cold, heartless and demanding to him, while
tender to her other children, especially her eldest daughter Daphne.
Definitely not out of lack of love [she loved him deeply in her heart],
but due to her unresolved grief, social panic [I come to that],
her new position as a widow [Dowager Viscountess] and yet another, strange factor.
For a strong willed woman like Violet it wasn’t easy to accept that, as Head of the Family, Anthony is now managing the Family Estates, while his mother is financially subordinate, when her income failed.
Violet and her inability to comfort her also grieving son and the fact, that in Regency Era a slightest mistake could lead to social death [11],
produced a very toxic Mother-Son relationship, since they also were
Viscount and Dowager Viscountess.
And although Violet wanted her son to be a ”strong leader” [easier
for her to remain mourning or hiding behind her mourning role when it fitted her. as became clear], she treated him as a 12 years old boy, often
scolding him as if he were little….
GROWING TENSIONS
Violet not only showed little or no appreciation for all the work Anthony did to hold the Estate in good order, she had no eye at all for his personal
needs and desires and didn’t seem to understand, that an already burdened young man [at the age of 18 years] needs to make some pleasure
too.
So she constantly reminded him of his duties, and not only that:
She continually blackmailed him emotionally with his father,
pointing out that his father did things so much better [yes, it is strange:
he had a yearlong experience] and as nothing helped anymore, she
blackmailed him with the ”marriage prospects” of his sisters….[12]
SIENA ROSSO
With a dysfunctional, toxic and strained relationship you’d think it
couldn’t get any worse.
BUT IT CAN!
IN FACT:
What happened next is nearly the breaking point in the relationship
between Anthony and his mother.
Had she pushed a little harder [for example by chasing Siena
out of the town], had Anthony possessed more of his sister Eloise’s rebellious character [13] it would have resulted in a break…..
At a certain point, Anthony fell desperately in love with opera singer Siena Rosso [14].
And I say ”desperately”, because a possible marriage with an opera singer
was a no go in Regency Era, leading to immediate social death
to the whole Bridgerton Family, especially because Anthony was the
Head of the Family [15]
And Violet discovered that [16]
And what is her reaction?
PURE HORROR!
Look, I can understand her social panic, since a deep
involvement and certainly a marriage between an aristocrat and
an opera singer will inevitably lead to social ruin, not only for
Anthony, but for the whole Bridgerton Family.
So her FEAR of social death or ruin is justified.
But that is not my point.
DEHUMANIZATION
My point is Violet’s total lack of motherly care and her nearly
inhuman approach of the situation.
In factm speaking about Siena Rosso she acts as if she is not
a human being, but just a ”threat” that must be eliminated.
When she first confronts Anthony about Siena’s existence
in his life, she refers to ”a certain soprano”[18], so reducing
the living woman to her occupation, which is worse
because not seeing her as a human being, but also
opera singers were not considered ”immoral women” [19]
Now if you only think so, that’s your business.
[I think it was a combination of fear of social death and personal
disapproval of her and her occupation, not worth a Viscount.]
But to speak to your son about the woman he has an affair with like this
and not realizing [even when it was not love, it was painful to hear] how
it hurts him I think it’s unforgivable
And from that moment, she lost no opportunity to remind him
of his duties., with the usual emotional blackmail with his dead father, working on his feelings of guilt.
Apparently it didn’t cross her mind, that it could be love and she
not only emotionally blackmailed him, she dismissed his love for Siena as a mere ”infatuation” or something to be ashamed of. [19A]
That was the more painful since his sister Daphne was also deeply
in love with his best friend Simon Basset, but was allowed to marry for love, since Simon came from the same social standing, being a Duke [20]
So of course his resentment against his mother grew and certainly
he didn’t trust her supposedly conditional love [in reality she loved him
, but understandably Anthony didn’t see it that way, because she didn’t show it at all] [21]
There were three occasions on which she clearly showed her heartlessness
IN HIS OFFICE ”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
The first time Violet confronts Anthony she [firstly talking about
other things] says literally
Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
”
Whether she then realizes, that Anthony has serious feelings for Siena [ she does realize it latr [23] is not important here.
She knows that what she says is hurtful, because she deliberately
demonizes her by refusing to mention her name.
And again:
It’s unforgivable to hurt your son like that for there are a thousand ways
to say that you find an affair unfitting without deliberately inflicting pain.
That’s what I so dislike about Violet’s attitude, making her ”pleas for love” in Season 2 so hypocritical [24], especially since in Season 1 she constantly
annoyed Anthony with her obsession with ”duty” and his ”dead father”……
AT A SOCIETY EVENT ”NEEDLEWORK”
And of course Violet tried it again [that woman never stops!]
At a Society Event, where Siena was asked to sing, Anthony stared
longingly and emotionally at her.
Violet saw him staring and probably realizing that it was
not an ”infatuation”, but something much deeper and that her sabotage tactic didn’t work [after the
”certain soprano” incident Anthony broke up with Siena but
they came together again/It was an on/off relationship, but longstanding],
she ”presented” to him two of the most silly marriage candidates, which he, of course, rejected! [25]
A Hilarious Scene.
One of the ”marriage candidates” was praised by Violet for her needlework!
Watch under note 26
And Violet wouldn”t be Violet if she hadn’t had the last word:
This was what she said [Admittedly, in a worried and sad tone:
”You’ll end up alone, with such expectations” [27]
[Anthony had presented to her rather impossible demands
for a marriage candidate, because he couldn’t tell her what she
already knew: that his heart was occupied elsewhere already….] [28]
AGAIN IN HIS OFFICE/ONE OF THOSE CONFRONTATIONS
Since Violet is a woman who keeps pushing, here is one of her
confrontations again.
At another occasion she approaches Anthony again about his
”passions” or ”distractions” [or whatever she calls it] , blackmails him again with his dead fathers, mentions [not totally unjustified] the
marriage prospects of his sisters [29] and of course there is that
demonization again, mentioning his love affair as if it were something
sordid….[30]
EMOTIONAL GAP BETWEEN MOTHER AND SON/
THE DUEL
To illustrate how wide the emotional gap between mother and son was
I will tell the following:
After the duel with his best friend Simon Basset for the honor of his sister Daphne [31][that never was thanks to Daphne”s intervention [32], Anthony comes home.
and when he enters the
living room his mother hardly looks at him and begins nagging and chattering
about the lace for Daphne’s wedding dress, not even knowing how
near to death her son had been. [33]
Should she have paid any attention to him instead of meaningless chattering
about a wedding dress ”approved by the Ton” [34], she would have seen
the state of mind he was in.
Now he had to cope with his emotional loneliness, desperate love and emotional neglect by his mother, who didn’t even realize or know that she could have received a message of his death without even knowing that he was going to duel, something Siena did know. [35]
In those times, Siena’s house was home to him, not the House where
his mother lived.
Siena’s House meant warmth, love and an Open Hearth, Violet’s Place [which was his
house of course] meant coldness, rejection and heartlessness, despite
her undeniable love for him. [36]
That was the most tragic of all……
AT LAST
I’VE SACRIFIED EVERYTHING
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [37]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
The Outburst ”I’VE SACRIFICED EVERYTHING” against Violet
in Season 2 is the result of Violet’s yearlong emotional neglect and nagging about ”duties” and especially her emotional sabotage which costed him dearly:
His love for Siena [38], which was an enormous blow.
The attitude of his mother was cold and heartless and the only person
who really comforted him was his close friend Simon, now Daphne’s husband. [39]
The Outburst ”ÉVERYTHING” referred to the heartbreak over Siena…..[40]
THE SEED AND THE HARVEST/CONCLUSION
Some people may defend Violet and say that she had no choice
with her hard stance in the Siena Rosso Affair, because of the real threat of social exclusion, leading to social death [41]
Others will say that she acted with the best intentions.
TWO THINGS
FIRST
Although her fear of social death was real [42], there is a difference between
not wishing someone in your or your son’s life and downright dehumanization and making your son feel that he must be ashamed of his feelings [43]
The things Violet said about Siena Rosso were dehumanizing, hateful and mean [44]
And the worst part was, that she didn’t seem to care or realize how much she was hurting her son.
And neither fear of social exclusion nor unresolved grief was an excuse for that!
SECOND
Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.
And besides:
Did she ever think of alternatives, such as getting married and leaving the country?
Then Benedict could fulfill Anthony’s tasks.
It is just a thought, but she should have thought ”out of the box”
If for no other reason than that there is more to life than a family name, no matter how important, like your child’s happiness.
But I suspect she didn’t even consider it, because she felt he had to sacrifice himself for the greater good, leaving him alone in his heartbreak
HOWEVER:
She paid the price by watching his cold behaviour towards her in Season 2,
a price she had to pay, saving the Viscount and almost losing her son
I wonder if he really forgave her in Season 2, since her excuses were selective [46]
The Dehumanization: By not mentioning her by name (“a certain soprano”), Violet turned Siena into an object, a scandal, rather than the woman her son loved.
BRIDGERTON/VIOLET’S DESTRUCTIVE ROLE IN THE BREAK-UP OF ANTHONY AND SIENA’S LOVE AFFAIR
[Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.]
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
LADY VIOLET TO HER SON ANTHONY
[1AA]
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [1A]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
HALLO FOLKS,
How are you today, my loyal Readers [HAHAHA]
As you know, I already wrote a lot about Bridgerton [1] and I intend to write more.
And although I’m planning to write about Anthony Bridgerton’s emotional state [Season 1 and 2], the non existing ”Ghost of Edmund” [Season 2] and whether he forgave his mother Violet after her selective excuses in Season 2 [2],
it suddenly struck me that, although I mentioned her crucial role a lot in
other posts [3], I never dedicated a special piece about Lady Violet’s role in the heartbreaking end of the love affair between Anthony Bridgerton
and opera singer Siena Rosso.
And with my weakness for impossible love affairs it is high time to delve deeper into La Violet’s [destructive] role in the Siena Rosso
Affair………. [4]
Perhaps this is not my last Post about this
We’ll see…..
LET’S GO!
LADY VIOLET AND HER SON ANTHONY
THE SEEDS OF TRAUMA
To smart viewers of the Bridgerton series it is crystal clear, that the
completely poisoned and strained relationship between mother Violet
and son Anthony in Season 2, uttering in Anthony’s coldness against his mother [5] stems directly from Anthony’s heartbreak
over the break up with Siena Rosso and his mother’s destructive role [6]
But to be fair:
Their bad relationship didn’t start with the Siena Rosso Affair, but had its roots
in their shared, painful past, going back to the death of Anthony’s father Edmund.
LET’S GO
We see an 18 years old Anthony, watching his father die, causing a trauma and his [pregnant] mother
lost in sorrow, what makes him not only Head of the Family [because of his father’s death, meaning managing the whole Estate and being the
legal guardian of his 7 brothers and sisters and also his mother] [7], but
since his mother was initially drowned in her deep mourning, also
burdening with the care of his 7 brothers and sisters.
Moreover, as the legal guardian of the Family [including his mother], he had to choose, at the difficult birth of his sister Hyacinth [8], between the
life of his mother and his sister [luckily they both survived childbirth, while he ordered the doctor to save them both]
A heavy burden for an 18 year old…..
But you can imagine also Violet’s perspective, also watching her husband
[and Anthony’s father] die [whom she loved very much], pregnant, knowing her new baby will never see its father, struggling through a
dangerous childbirth and forced to leave the decision over her future
[whether she or her baby must be saved, if a medical
choice has to be made about which of the two should stay alive] into the hands of her 18 years son, whom she
doubtless doesn’t want to burden with something he doesn’t understand at all!
MOTHER AND SON/VISCOUNT AND DOWAGER VISCOUNTESS
The death trauma [since both watched father and husband die]
and the Childbirth trauma [see above] are only the Beginning.
More to come:, which is particularly a burden for the 18 years old
Anthony.
Not yet recovered from the shock of his father’s sudden death
and having faced his mother near death during childbirth, it is
not an exaggeration to say that his carefree youth is over.
Normally you get some support and warmth from your mother,
but not in Anthony’s case.
That’s not completely Violet’s fault.
In the first period after her husband’s death she is so consumed
with grief, that she is incapable to do anything.
However understandable the deep mourning of Violet, that’s a heavy burden for young Anthony,
who not only becomes the new Viscount and the legal Head
of the Family, what makes him responsible for his mother
and his 7 brothers and sisters.
And of course he has to manage the whole Estate and has the duty to marry his off sisters. [9]
And on top of that, he had to take care for his 7 brothers and
sisters, a task that normally his mother had to perform.
REPEATING:
So in the initial period Anthony not only had to do his legal
obligations, a heavy burden on an inexperienced young man
of 18 years, but also to fulfil his mother’s care for his brothers and
sisters.
In modern terms we call that
Parentification [10]
You’d think his mother would have appreciated his efforts and showed it,
but that was not the case.
Not only she was too much drown in her own continuing grief,
that she took everything he did for granted, in most
cases she was cold, heartless and demanding to him, while
tender to her other children, especially her eldest daughter Daphne.
Definitely not out of lack of love [she loved him deeply in her heart],
but due to her unresolved grief, social panic [I come to that],
her new position as a widow [Dowager Viscountess] and yet another, strange factor.
For a strong willed woman like Violet it wasn’t easy to accept that
her own child was now her legal Head and she was ”reduced” to Dowager
Viscountess.
So the system [an 18 year old son being his mother’s legal head and bearing such a huge responsibility], the unresolved grief of mother
Violet and her inability to comfort her also grieving son and the fact, that in Regency Era a slightest mistake could lead to social death [11],
produced a very toxic Mother-Son relationship, since they also were
Viscount and Dowager Viscountess.
And although Violet wanted her son to be a ”strong leader” [easier
for her to remain mourning or hiding behind her mourning role when it fitted her. as became clear], she treated him as a 12 years old boy, often
scolding him as if he were little….
GROWING TENSIONS
Violet not only showed little or no appreciation for all the work Anthony did to hold the Estate in good order, she had no eye at all for his personal
needs and desires and didn’t seem to understand, that an already burdened young man [at the age of 18 years] needs to make some pleasure
too.
So she constantly reminded him of his duties, and not only that:
She continually blackmailed him emotionally with his father,
pointing out that his father did things so much better [yes, it is strange:
he had a yearlong experience] and as nothing helped anymore, she
blackmailed him with the ”marriage prospects” of his sisters….[12]
SIENA ROSSO
With a dysfunctional, toxic and strained relationship you’d think it
couldn’t get any worse.
BUT IT CAN!
IN FACT:
What happened next is nearly the breaking point in the relationship
between Anthony and his mother.
Had she pushed a little harder [for example by chasing Siena
out of the town], had Anthony possessed more of his sister Eloise’s rebellious character [13] it would have resulted in a break…..
At a certain point, Anthony fell desperately in love with opera singer Siena Rosso [14].
And I say ”desperately”, because a possible marriage with an opera singer
was a no go in Regency Era, leading to immediate social death
to the whole Bridgerton Family, especially because Anthony was the
Head of the Family [15]
And Violet discovered that [16]
And what is her reaction?
PURE HORROR!
Look, I can understand her social panic, since a deep
involvement and certainly a marriage between an aristocrat and
an opera singer will inevitably lead to social ruin, not only for
Anthony, but for the whole Bridgerton Family.
So her FEAR of social death or ruin is justified.
But that is not my point.
DEHUMANIZATION
My point is Violet’s total lack of motherly care and her nearly
inhuman approach of the situation.
In factm speaking about Siena Rosso she acts as if she is not
a human being, but just a ”threat” that must be eliminated.
When she first confronts Anthony about Siena’s existence
in his life, she refers to ”a certain soprano”[18], so reducing
the living woman to her occupation, which is worse
because not seeing her as a human being, but also
opera singers were not considered ”immoral women” [19]
Now if you only think so, that’s your business.
[I think it was a combination of fear of social death and personal
disapproval of her and her occupation, not worth a Viscount.]
But to speak to your son about the woman he has an affair with like this
and not realizing [even when it was not love, it was painful to hear] how
it hurts him I think it’s unforgivable
And from that moment, she lost no opportunity to remind him
of his duties., with the usual emotional blackmail with his dead father, working on his feelings of guilt.
Apparently it didn’t cross her mind, that it could be love and she
not only emotionally blackmailed him, she dismissed his love for Siena as a mere ”infatuation” or something to be ashamed of. [19A]
That was the more painful since his sister Daphne was also deeply
in love with his best friend Simon Basset, but was allowed to marry for love, since Simon came from the same social standing, being a Duke [20]
So of course his resentment against his mother grew and certainly
he didn’t trust her supposedly conditional love [in reality she loved him
, but understandably Anthony didn’t see it that way, because she didn’t show it at all] [21]
There were three occasions on which she clearly showed her heartlessness
IN HIS OFFICE ”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
The first time Violet confronts Anthony she [firstly talking about
other things] says literally
Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
”
Whether she then realizes, that Anthony has serious feelings for Siena [ she does realize it latr [23] is not important here.
She knows that what she says is hurtful, because she deliberately
demonizes her by refusing to mention her name.
And again:
It’s unforgivable to hurt your son like that for there are a thousand ways
to say that you find an affair unfitting without deliberately inflicting pain.
That’s what I so dislike about Violet’s attitude, making her ”pleas for love” in Season 2 so hypocritical [24], especially since in Season 1 she constantly
annoyed Anthony with her obsession with ”duty” and his ”dead father”……
AT A SOCIETY EVENT ”NEEDLEWORK”
And of course Violet tried it again [that woman never stops!]
At a Society Event, where Siena was asked to sing, Anthony stared
longingly and emotionally at her.
Violet saw him staring and probably realizing that it was
not an ”infatuation”, but something much deeper and that her sabotage tactic didn’t work [after the
”certain soprano” incident Anthony broke up with Siena but
they came together again/It was an on/off relationship, but longstanding],
she ”presented” to him two of the most silly marriage candidates, which he, of course, rejected! [25]
A Hilarious Scene.
One of the ”marriage candidates” was praised by Violet for her needlework!
Watch under note 26
And Violet wouldn”t be Violet if she hadn’t had the last word:
This was what she said [Admittedly, in a worried and sad tone:
”You’ll end up alone, with such expectations” [27]
[Anthony had presented to her rather impossible demands
for a marriage candidate, because he couldn’t tell her what she
already knew: that his heart was occupied elsewhere already….] [28]
AGAIN IN HIS OFFICE/ONE OF THOSE CONFRONTATIONS
Since Violet is a woman who keeps pushing, here is one of her
confrontations again.
At another occasion she approaches Anthony again about his
”passions” or ”distractions” [or whatever she calls it] , blackmails him again with his dead fathers, mentions [not totally unjustified] the
marriage prospects of his sisters [29] and of course there is that
demonization again, mentioning his love affair as if it were something
sordid….[30]
EMOTIONAL GAP BETWEEN MOTHER AND SON/
THE DUEL
To illustrate how wide the emotional gap between mother and son was
I will tell the following:
After the duel with his best friend Simon Basset for the honor of his sister Daphne [31][that never was thanks to Daphne”s intervention [32], Anthony comes home.
and when he enters the
living room his mother hardly looks at him and begins nagging and chattering
about the lace for Daphne’s wedding dress, not even knowing how
near to death her son had been. [33]
Should she have paid any attention to him instead of meaningless chattering
about a wedding dress ”approved by the Ton” [34], she would have seen
the state of mind he was in.
Now he had to cope with his emotional loneliness, desperate love and emotional neglect by his mother, who didn’t even realize or know that she could have received a message of his death without even knowing that he was going to duel, something Siena did know. [35]
In those times, Siena’s house was home to him, not the House where
his mother lived.
Siena’s House meant warmth, love and an Open Hearth, Violet’s Place [which was his
house of course] meant coldness, rejection and heartlessness, despite
her undeniable love for him. [36]
That was the most tragic of all……
AT LAST
I’VE SACRIFIED EVERYTHING
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [37]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
The Outburst ”I’VE SACRIFICED EVERYTHING” against Violet
in Season 2 is the result of Violet’s yearlong emotional neglect and nagging about ”duties” and especially her emotional sabotage which costed him dearly:
His love for Siena [38], which was an enormous blow.
The attitude of his mother was cold and heartless and the only person
who really comforted him was his close friend Simon, now Daphne’s husband. [39]
The Outburst ”ÉVERYTHING” referred to the heartbreak over Siena…..[40]
THE SEED AND THE HARVEST/CONCLUSION
Some people may defend Violet and say that she had no choice
with her hard stance in the Siena Rosso Affair, because of the real threat of social exclusion, leading to social death [41]
Others will say that she acted with the best intentions.
TWO THINGS
FIRST
Although her fear of social death was real [42], there is a difference between
not wishing someone in your or your son’s life and downright dehumanization and making your son feel that he must be ashamed of his feelings [43]
The things Violet said about Siena Rosso were dehumanizing, hateful and mean [44]
And the worst part was, that she didn’t seem to care or realize how much she was hurting her son.
And neither fear of social exclusion nor unresolved grief was an excuse for that!
SECOND
Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.
And besides:
Did she ever think of alternatives, such as getting married and leaving the country?
Then Benedict could fulfill Anthony’s tasks.
It is just a thought, but she should have thought ”out of the box”
If for no other reason than that there is more to life than a family name, no matter how important, like your child’s happiness.
But I suspect she didn’t even consider it, because she felt he had to sacrifice himself for the greater good, leaving him alone in his heartbreak
HOWEVER:
She paid the price by watching his cold behaviour towards her in Season 2,
a price she had to pay, saving the Viscount and almost losing her son
I wonder if he really forgave her in Season 2, since her excuses were selective [46]
The Dehumanization: By not mentioning her by name (“a certain soprano”), Violet turned Siena into an object, a scandal, rather than the woman her son loved.
VIOLET’S DESTRUCTIVE ROLE IN THE BREAK-UP OF ANTHONY AND SIENA’S LOVE AFFAIR
[Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.]
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
LADY VIOLET TO HER SON ANTHONY
[1AA]
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [1A]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
HALLO FOLKS,
How are you today, my loyal Readers [HAHAHA]
As you know, I already wrote a lot about Bridgerton [1] and I intend to write more.
And although I’m planning to write about Anthony Bridgerton’s emotional state [Season 1 and 2], the non existing ”Ghost of Edmund” [Season 2] and whether he forgave his mother Violet after her selective excuses in Season 2 [2],
it suddenly struck me that, although I mentioned her crucial role a lot in
other posts [3], I never dedicated a special piece about Lady Violet’s role in the heartbreaking end of the love affair between Anthony Bridgerton
and opera singer Siena Rosso.
And with my weakness for impossible love affairs it is high time to delve deeper into La Violet’s [destructive] role in the Siena Rosso
Affair………. [4]
Perhaps this is not my last Post about this
We’ll see…..
LET’S GO!
LADY VIOLET AND HER SON ANTHONY
THE SEEDS OF TRAUMA
To smart viewers of the Bridgerton series it is crystal clear, that the
completely poisoned and strained relationship between mother Violet
and son Anthony in Season 2, uttering in Anthony’s coldness against his mother [5] stems directly from Anthony’s heartbreak
over the break up with Siena Rosso and his mother’s destructive role [6]
But to be fair:
Their bad relationship didn’t start with the Siena Rosso Affair, but had its roots
in their shared, painful past, going back to the death of Anthony’s father Edmund.
LET’S GO
We see an 18 years old Anthony, watching his father die, causing a trauma and his [pregnant] mother
lost in sorrow, what makes him not only Head of the Family [because of his father’s death, meaning managing the whole Estate and being the
legal guardian of his 7 brothers and sisters and also his mother] [7], but
since his mother was initially drowned in her deep mourning, also
burdening with the care of his 7 brothers and sisters.
Moreover, as the legal guardian of the Family [including his mother], he had to choose, at the difficult birth of his sister Hyacinth [8], between the
life of his mother and his sister [luckily they both survived childbirth, while he ordered the doctor to save them both]
A heavy burden for an 18 year old…..
But you can imagine also Violet’s perspective, also watching her husband
[and Anthony’s father] die [whom she loved very much], pregnant, knowing her new baby will never see its father, struggling through a
dangerous childbirth and forced to leave the decision over her future
[whether she or her baby must be saved, if a medical
choice has to be made about which of the two should stay alive] into the hands of her 18 years son, whom she
doubtless doesn’t want to burden with something he doesn’t understand at all!
MOTHER AND SON/VISCOUNT AND DOWAGER VISCOUNTESS
The death trauma [since both watched father and husband die]
and the Childbirth trauma [see above] are only the Beginning.
More to come:, which is particularly a burden for the 18 years old
Anthony.
Not yet recovered from the shock of his father’s sudden death
and having faced his mother near death during childbirth, it is
not an exaggeration to say that his carefree youth is over.
Normally you get some support and warmth from your mother,
but not in Anthony’s case.
That’s not completely Violet’s fault.
In the first period after her husband’s death she is so consumed
with grief, that she is incapable to do anything.
However understandable the deep mourning of Violet, that’s a heavy burden for young Anthony,
who not only becomes the new Viscount and the legal Head
of the Family, what makes him responsible for his mother
and his 7 brothers and sisters.
And of course he has to manage the whole Estate and has the duty to marry his off sisters. [9]
And on top of that, he had to take care for his 7 brothers and
sisters, a task that normally his mother had to perform.
REPEATING:
So in the initial period Anthony not only had to do his legal
obligations, a heavy burden on an inexperienced young man
of 18 years, but also to fulfil his mother’s care for his brothers and
sisters.
In modern terms we call that
Parentification [10]
You’d think his mother would have appreciated his efforts and showed it,
but that was not the case.
Not only she was too much drown in her own continuing grief,
that she took everything he did for granted, in most
cases she was cold, heartless and demanding to him, while
tender to her other children, especially her eldest daughter Daphne.
Definitely not out of lack of love [she loved him deeply in her heart],
but due to her unresolved grief, social panic [I come to that],
her new position as a widow [Dowager Viscountess] and yet another, strange factor.
For a strong willed woman like Violet it wasn’t easy to accept that
her own child was now her legal Head and she was ”reduced” to Dowager
Viscountess.
So the system [an 18 year old son being his mother’s legal head and bearing such a huge responsibility], the unresolved grief of mother
Violet and her inability to comfort her also grieving son and the fact, that in Regency Era a slightest mistake could lead to social death [11],
produced a very toxic Mother-Son relationship, since they also were
Viscount and Dowager Viscountess.
And although Violet wanted her son to be a ”strong leader” [easier
for her to remain mourning or hiding behind her mourning role when it fitted her. as became clear], she treated him as a 12 years old boy, often
scolding him as if he were little….
GROWING TENSIONS
Violet not only showed little or no appreciation for all the work Anthony did to hold the Estate in good order, she had no eye at all for his personal
needs and desires and didn’t seem to understand, that an already burdened young man [at the age of 18 years] needs to make some pleasure
too.
So she constantly reminded him of his duties, and not only that:
She continually blackmailed him emotionally with his father,
pointing out that his father did things so much better [yes, it is strange:
he had a yearlong experience] and as nothing helped anymore, she
blackmailed him with the ”marriage prospects” of his sisters….[12]
SIENA ROSSO
With a dysfunctional, toxic and strained relationship you’d think it
couldn’t get any worse.
BUT IT CAN!
IN FACT:
What happened next is nearly the breaking point in the relationship
between Anthony and his mother.
Had she pushed a little harder [for example by chasing Siena
out of the town], had Anthony possessed more of his sister Eloise’s rebellious character [13] it would have resulted in a break…..
At a certain point, Anthony fell desperately in love with opera singer Siena Rosso [14].
And I say ”desperately”, because a possible marriage with an opera singer
was a no go in Regency Era, leading to immediate social death
to the whole Bridgerton Family, especially because Anthony was the
Head of the Family [15]
And Violet discovered that [16]
And what is her reaction?
PURE HORROR!
Look, I can understand her social panic, since a deep
involvement and certainly a marriage between an aristocrat and
an opera singer will inevitably lead to social ruin, not only for
Anthony, but for the whole Bridgerton Family.
So her FEAR of social death or ruin is justified.
But that is not my point.
DEHUMANIZATION
My point is Violet’s total lack of motherly care and her nearly
inhuman approach of the situation.
In factm speaking about Siena Rosso she acts as if she is not
a human being, but just a ”threat” that must be eliminated.
When she first confronts Anthony about Siena’s existence
in his life, she refers to ”a certain soprano”[18], so reducing
the living woman to her occupation, which is worse
because not seeing her as a human being, but also
opera singers were not considered ”immoral women” [19]
Now if you only think so, that’s your business.
[I think it was a combination of fear of social death and personal
disapproval of her and her occupation, not worth a Viscount.]
But to speak to your son about the woman he has an affair with like this
and not realizing [even when it was not love, it was painful to hear] how
it hurts him I think it’s unforgivable
And from that moment, she lost no opportunity to remind him
of his duties., with the usual emotional blackmail with his dead father, working on his feelings of guilt.
Apparently it didn’t cross her mind, that it could be love and she
not only emotionally blackmailed him, she dismissed his love for Siena as a mere ”infatuation” or something to be ashamed of. [19A]
That was the more painful since his sister Daphne was also deeply
in love with his best friend Simon Basset, but was allowed to marry for love, since Simon came from the same social standing, being a Duke [20]
So of course his resentment against his mother grew and certainly
he didn’t trust her supposedly conditional love [in reality she loved him
, but understandably Anthony didn’t see it that way, because she didn’t show it at all] [21]
There were three occasions on which she clearly showed her heartlessness
IN HIS OFFICE ”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
The first time Violet confronts Anthony she [firstly talking about
other things] says literally
Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
”
Whether she then realizes, that Anthony has serious feelings for Siena [ she does realize it latr [23] is not important here.
She knows that what she says is hurtful, because she deliberately
demonizes her by refusing to mention her name.
And again:
It’s unforgivable to hurt your son like that for there are a thousand ways
to say that you find an affair unfitting without deliberately inflicting pain.
That’s what I so dislike about Violet’s attitude, making her ”pleas for love” in Season 2 so hypocritical [24], especially since in Season 1 she constantly
annoyed Anthony with her obsession with ”duty” and his ”dead father”……
AT A SOCIETY EVENT ”NEEDLEWORK”
And of course Violet tried it again [that woman never stops!]
At a Society Event, where Siena was asked to sing, Anthony stared
longingly and emotionally at her.
Violet saw him staring and probably realizing that it was
not an ”infatuation”, but something much deeper and that her sabotage tactic didn’t work [after the
”certain soprano” incident Anthony broke up with Siena but
they came together again/It was an on/off relationship, but longstanding],
she ”presented” to him two of the most silly marriage candidates, which he, of course, rejected! [25]
A Hilarious Scene.
One of the ”marriage candidates” was praised by Violet for her needlework!
Watch under note 26
And Violet wouldn”t be Violet if she hadn’t had the last word:
This was what she said [Admittedly, in a worried and sad tone:
”You’ll end up alone, with such expectations” [27]
[Anthony had presented to her rather impossible demands
for a marriage candidate, because he couldn’t tell her what she
already knew: that his heart was occupied elsewhere already….] [28]
AGAIN IN HIS OFFICE/ONE OF THOSE CONFRONTATIONS
Since Violet is a woman who keeps pushing, here is one of her
confrontations again.
At another occasion she approaches Anthony again about his
”passions” or ”distractions” [or whatever she calls it] , blackmails him again with his dead fathers, mentions [not totally unjustified] the
marriage prospects of his sisters [29] and of course there is that
demonization again, mentioning his love affair as if it were something
sordid….[30]
EMOTIONAL GAP BETWEEN MOTHER AND SON/
THE DUEL
To illustrate how wide the emotional gap between mother and son was
I will tell the following:
After the duel with his best friend Simon Basset for the honor of his sister Daphne [31][that never was thanks to Daphne”s intervention [32], Anthony comes home.
and when he enters the
living room his mother hardly looks at him and begins nagging and chattering
about the lace for Daphne’s wedding dress, not even knowing how
near to death her son had been. [33]
Should she have paid any attention to him instead of meaningless chattering
about a wedding dress ”approved by the Ton” [34], she would have seen
the state of mind he was in.
Now he had to cope with his emotional loneliness, desperate love and emotional neglect by his mother, who didn’t even realize or know that she could have received a message of his death without even knowing that he was going to duel, something Siena did know. [35]
In those times, Siena’s house was home to him, not the House where
his mother lived.
Siena’s House meant warmth, love and an Open Hearth, Violet’s Place [which was his
house of course] meant coldness, rejection and heartlessness, despite
her undeniable love for him. [36]
That was the most tragic of all……
AT LAST
I’VE SACRIFIED EVERYTHING
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [37]
OUTBURST OF ANTHONY AGAINST HIS MOTHER VIOLET
[SEASON 2]
The Outburst ”I’VE SACRIFICED EVERYTHING” against Violet
in Season 2 is the result of Violet’s yearlong emotional neglect and nagging about ”duties” and especially her emotional sabotage which costed him dearly:
His love for Siena [38], which was an enormous blow.
The attitude of his mother was cold and heartless and the only person
who really comforted him was his close friend Simon, now Daphne’s husband. [39]
The Outburst ”ÉVERYTHING” referred to the heartbreak over Siena…..[40]
THE SEED AND THE HARVEST/CONCLUSION
Some people may defend Violet and say that she had no choice
with her hard stance in the Siena Rosso Affair, because of the real threat of social exclusion, leading to social death [41]
Others will say that she acted with the best intentions.
TWO THINGS
FIRST
Although her fear of social death was real [42], there is a difference between
not wishing someone in your or your son’s life and downright dehumanization and making your son feel that he must be ashamed of his feelings [43]
The things Violet said about Siena Rosso were dehumanizing, hateful and mean [44]
And the worst part was, that she didn’t seem to care or realize how much she was hurting her son.
And neither fear of social exclusion nor unresolved grief was an excuse for that!
SECOND
Maybe Violet really thought she was acting with the best intentions, but that’s not good enough.
At some point she must have seen the hurt expression on her son’s face, but she turned a blind eye to it, even when she could have known that his ”Affair” was far more than an ”infatuation” [45]
And besides:
At some point it is of no importance anymore, whether your intentions
are good or bad.
Inflicting severe pain on someone is still inflicting severe pain, whatever the intentions.
And besides:
Did she ever think of alternatives, such as getting married and leaving the country?
Then Benedict could fulfill Anthony’s tasks.
It is just a thought, but she should have thought ”out of the box”
If for no other reason than that there is more to life than a family name, no matter how important, like your child’s happiness.
But I suspect she didn’t even consider it, because she felt he had to sacrifice himself for the greater good, leaving him alone in his heartbreak
HOWEVER:
She paid the price by watching his cold behaviour towards her in Season 2,
a price she had to pay, saving the Viscount and almost losing her son
I wonder if he really forgave her in Season 2, since her excuses were selective [46]
The Dehumanization: By not mentioning her by name (“a certain soprano”), Violet turned Siena into an object, a scandal, rather than the woman her son loved.
GIVE UP THE WOMAN HE LOVED BECAUSE BEING THE ELDEST AND
HEAD OF THE FAMILY [SEE ALSO HIS MOTHER’S PASSIVE AGRESSIVE
MANIPULATION AND EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL]
”The Dialogue: Violet’s Harsh Judgment
The scene takes place in the study of Bridgerton House. Violet confronts Anthony about his lack of commitment to the family and his distractions outside the home.
Violet: “And as for your own pursuits… Will you be visiting a certain soprano whom you keep in an apartment that you pay for on the other side of town?”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties…..”
Anthony, the eldest son, the new Viscount and head of the Family
Although his mother Violet loves him very deeply, in his
beginning years as a Viscount, because of many factors [but not because a lack of love] she lashes out hard and cruelly at him until their reconciliation. [1]
He has his emotional issues like his mourning about his father, forbidden love [2], close friendship, albeit
temporarily strained [3], his deeply hurt feelings because of Violet’s seemingly cruelty and coldness against him, while tender to the other children, what makes him mistakenly think that she doesn’t love him which is not true] [4].
And being the eldest son, while his mother Violet lashes out at him, she learns
from that [offering Anthony later a tearful apology about her harshness, although not apologizing for sabotaging his love affair with Siena Rosso, although forced by real fear of the social death ] [5], and is much ”softer” to the other children [6]
THE BITTER PRICE FOR BEING THE ELDEST
AI OVERVIEW
POSITION OF THE ELDEST SON AND HEIR DURING THE REGENCY ERA
The Position of the Eldest Son and Heir during the Regency Era (circa 1811-1820) in England was of crucial importance for preserving family wealth, status, and titles. This was largely determined by the system of primogeniture and entailment (fee tail).
The Position of the Eldest Son (The Heir)
Sole Right of Inheritance: Traditionally, the eldest legitimate son inherited the landed estate, the noble title, and the bulk of the family fortune.
Responsibility: He bore the responsibility of upholding the family name, managing the estates, and often providing for his mother (as a widow) and unmarried sisters.
Heir Apparent vs. Heir Presumptive: The eldest son was the “heir apparent” (the undeniable heir). If there were no sons, the inheritance passed to an “heir presumptive” (a presumed heir, such as a younger brother, cousin, or uncle).
Education and Career: Because his future was secured, the eldest son often had the freedom to live as a “gentleman,” become politically active, or hold a high-ranking position in the military.
The Role of Entailment (Fee Tail)
An “entail” was a legal arrangement ensuring that the estate remained intact and could not be divided among all children. The estate had to remain in the male line, usually passing from father to eldest son.
This meant that if a father had no sons, the estate could pass to a male cousin (as seen in Pride & Prejudice), leaving the daughters with nothing.
Consequences for the Family
Younger Sons: They usually inherited very little and had to build their own careers, often in the military, the clergy, or the law.
Daughters: They were entirely economically dependent on their father and, later, their husband. They relied on a “dowry” or “portion” (a share of the wealth) that the eldest son was required to pay out to them.
Widows:: “Widows were often dependent on a ‘jointure,’ a legal provision made for them in their marriage settlement.”)
[1A]
[1A]
AI OVERVIEW
Anthony was the emotional trailblazer for the rest of the family. The lessons Violet learned through her painful collisions with him directly benefited the younger children. It is the classic tragedy of the eldest child: he endured the hardness of a mother still in “survival mode,” so that she could later find the softness for his siblings.
1. Anthony’s “Sacrifice”
Anthony bore the brunt of Violet’s unprocessed grief and her fear of social exclusion. Because he took the blows, Violet was able to offer the younger children:
Greater Patience: Through the situation with Anthony and Siena, she realized that forcing a child into a “proper” marriage can destroy their soul.
Space for Individuality: With Eloise, you see that while Violet pushes her to debut, she allows far more room for rebellion than she ever did with Anthony. She tries to understand Eloise rather than simply breaking her will.
2. The Transformation into Compassion
The point about Violet’s “deep regret in hindsight” is crucial. That guilt wore down her sharp edges. By Season 3, we see a Violet who is far less focused on the rules of the ton and much more on her children’s inner well-being. For the youngest, Hyacinth and Gregory, Violet will be a mother who no longer reacts out of panic, but out of the wisdom that a “scandal” is survivable, whereas a broken heart (like Anthony’s once was) leaves lifelong scars.
3. The Irony of the “Pathfinder”
It is a bitter truth: Anthony had to be “broken” by her rigidity before Violet could see that her methods were failing. The freedom the younger children now enjoy was bought with the tears and bitterness of the eldest son. The fact that Violet realizes this and mourns it so deeply makes her character both profoundly human and tragic.
AND ABOUT ANTHONY’S BROKEN HEART ABOUT THE SIENA
ROSSO AFFAIR, THE DEPTH OF IT HIS MOTHER VIOLET REALIZED LATER, ALTHOUGH HER GREAT FAULT WAS THAT SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THE SIENA ROSSO SABOTAGE, WITH WHICH SHE, ALTHOUGH UNWILLINGLY, BROKE HIS HEART
This analysis from Astrid Essed provides a profound look at the “Mother-Son-Viscount” paradox. It highlights how Violet’s greatest strength—her dedication to her family—became the very thing that caused Anthony’s deepest trauma.
Here is the English synthesis of these key points:
1. Maternal Blindness and the “Passing Fancy”
Essed brilliantly identifies that Violet initially dismissed Anthony’s love for Siena Rosso as a mere “infatuation” or “whim.” Because she refused to see the depth of his feelings, she couldn’t offer him the comfort he desperately needed. To her, it was a strategic threat to the family name; to him, it was a genuine heartbreak that she ignored.
2. The “Tigress” vs. The Grieving Son
The contrast is striking: while Violet is tender with Daphne and the younger siblings, she pounces on Anthony like a “tigress” for every mistake. Essed points out that Violet essentially forgot that Anthony was only 18 when he was thrust into the role of patriarch. She demanded he be a hardened leader while she remained lost in her own mourning, effectively leaving him emotionally isolated.
3. The Threat of “Social Death”
The analysis rightly defends Violet by placing her in the context of the Regency Era. A marriage to an opera singer—viewed as “immoral” by the Ton—would have meant the “social death” of the entire family. Violet felt forced to act as an “executioner” of Anthony’s happiness to ensure the survival and marriage prospects of her other seven children.
4. The Power of the “Tearful Apologies”
As noted on astridessed.nl, the turning point occurs when Violet finally recognizes the “sharp, unintentional pain” she inflicted. Her apology is revolutionary because she finally stops treating him as the Viscount (the institution) and begins treating him as her son (the human being).
Conclusion:
This perspective paints Violet as a deeply human, layered character. She is a “loving mother at heart” who was caught between her own grief, the merciless rules of society, and the crushing weight of responsibility. Her journey in Season 2 is a return to that simple, tender bond, proving that being a “good mother” sometimes means choosing her child’s soul over the family’s reputation
”But at the end, Violet realized the sharp pain she unintentionally inflicted on her son and
made tearful apologies to him, saying:
””I am so sorry it was you who was with your father that day. And I am sorry for everything that happened in the days that followed. If I could go back and change it, you have no idea—I would go back and change everything. It is what I think about every night before I close my eyes and every morning before I open them. It will never go away.”
This is a heartbreaking, beautiful moment for Violet in which she
overcomes herself, for in Regency Era, parents rarely offered their
apologies to their children.”
By offering excuses their bond started to heal and they became mother and son again,but Anthony would never forget or forgive the Siena sabotage of his mother.
And the scars of the break-up of the Siena Rosso love affair [mainly caused
Anthony was the emotional trailblazer for the rest of the family. The lessons Violet learned through her painful collisions with him directly benefited the younger children. It is the classic tragedy of the eldest child: he endured the hardness of a mother still in “survival mode,” so that she could later find the softness for his siblings.
1. Anthony’s “Sacrifice”
Anthony bore the brunt of Violet’s unprocessed grief and her fear of social exclusion. Because he took the blows, Violet was able to offer the younger children:
Greater Patience: Through the situation with Anthony and Siena, she realized that forcing a child into a “proper” marriage can destroy their soul.
Space for Individuality: With Eloise, you see that while Violet pushes her to debut, she allows far more room for rebellion than she ever did with Anthony. She tries to understand Eloise rather than simply breaking her will.
2. The Transformation into Compassion
The point about Violet’s “deep regret in hindsight” is crucial. That guilt wore down her sharp edges. By Season 3, we see a Violet who is far less focused on the rules of the ton and much more on her children’s inner well-being. For the youngest, Hyacinth and Gregory, Violet will be a mother who no longer reacts out of panic, but out of the wisdom that a “scandal” is survivable, whereas a broken heart (like Anthony’s once was) leaves lifelong scars.
3. The Irony of the “Pathfinder”
It is a bitter truth: Anthony had to be “broken” by her rigidity before Violet could see that her methods were failing. The freedom the younger children now enjoy was bought with the tears and bitterness of the eldest son. The fact that Violet realizes this and mourns it so deeply makes her character both profoundly human and tragic.
AND ABOUT ANTHONY’S BROKEN HEART ABOUT THE SIENA
ROSSO AFFAIR, THE VERY DEPTH OF IT HIS MOTHER VIOLET FULLY REALIZED LATER, BUT NEVER SPOKE OF
And Violet’s reaction is almost pathetic and pitiful, when
you forget her emotional blackmail [in season 1, about his father who would have done things far more better] [18], her dehumanization of the woman Anthony loves [19] and her emotional coldness [20]
I think at that moment when he lashed out at her [which was unusual to him, [his sister Eloise would have done it long ago [21], she realized the immense and unreasonable sacrifices
she had asked from him and that his coldness was caused by her sterness, her lack of emotional support and neglect of
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor Anthony Bridgerton, the Eldest son and Head of the Family, the bitter Price being the Eldest and the High Cost of giving up the woman you love…..
LADY VIOLET DRAGGED ANTHONY/THE DISCOVEDRY OF ANTHONY’S
LOVE AFFAIR WITH SIENA ROSSO/”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
A deep wound for Anthony is also that while Daphne is allowed to marry for love [however that was within their social classes, she married a Duke, Anthony’s closest friend], his mother
coldly commands him to break up his love affair with opera singer Siena Rosso.
[Eventually it’s Siena herself who ends the affair, but triggered by Violet’s and the Ton’s fierce resistance, leaving Anthony heartbroken]
While of course Lady Violet wants him to be happy too, to her defence must be said, that
a marriage between an aristocrat and an operasinger was a no go area in Regency Time, since
opera singers not onl;y were of another social class, but were also considered
as immoral women.
Such a marriage would ruin the marriage chances of his sisters, so Violet had no choice.
But in the light of her severe strictness against him and his scolding for even innocent
mistakes he makes, her fierce resistance against his affair [which she considered as a mere ”infatuation] must have hurt him deeply, a fact Violet didn’t realize at all.
THIS IS WHAT VIOLET LITERALLY SAID TO HER SON ANTHONY
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
AI OVERVIEW
THIS TEXT DIFFERS SOMEWHAT FROM THE ORIGINAL DIALOGUE BETWEEN LADY VIOLET AND HER SON ANTHONY, WHERE SHE REFERS TO SIENA AS ”A CERTAIN SOPRANO” BUT RESEMBLES THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE DIALOGUE]
Violet: I had hoped you would look over the ledgers.
Anthony: I have been looking over them for hours, Mother. The estate is in order.
Violet: And what of the family? Your sister is about to make her debut. The eyes of the ’ton’ will be upon her. Upon us all.
Anthony: Daphne is perfection itself. She will have no trouble finding a suitable match.
Violet: And you? When do you plan to take your duties seriously? Or do you plan to spend every evening at the opera? (Anthony looks away, knowing she has caught him)
Anthony: My private life is my own.
Violet: Not when it affects this family. You are the Viscount now. You are the head of this household. Your father…
Anthony: I am well aware of who my father was. And I am well aware of the burden he left behind.
Violet: It is not a burden, Anthony. It is a legacy. A legacy that you are currently treating with great indifference. If you cannot be the man this family needs, perhaps you should step aside and let your brothers find their own way.
AI OVERVIEW
Here is the English translation of your analysis of the scene from Bridgerton Season 1, Episode 1 (“Diamond of the First Water”):
English Translation
Precisely because Violet positions herself as the guardian of love, acknowledging the pain she caused Anthony by labeling his first great love as “unworthy” could have healed their bond.
Here is the specific dialogue from Season 1, Episode 1 (Diamond of the First Water), in which Violet expresses her ruthless disapproval and reduces Siena to a financial burden:
The Dialogue: Violet’s Harsh Judgment The scene takes place in the study of Bridgerton House. Violet confronts Anthony about his lack of commitment to the family and his distractions outside the home.
Violet: “And as for your own pursuits… Will you be visiting a certain soprano whom you keep in an apartment that you pay for on the other side of town?”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties. Your father would never…”
Anthony: (Irritated) “My father is no longer here!”
Violet: “No, he is not. And yet, the burden of this family rests upon your shoulders. You cannot continue running around with women of… that standing, while your sister needs a husband and this house a leader.”
Why this was so hurtful:
The Dehumanization: By not mentioning her by name (“a certain soprano”), Violet turned Siena into an object, a scandal, rather than the woman her son loved.
The Comparison to Edmund: By bringing up his late father (“Your father would never…”), Violet used Anthony’s greatest trauma as a weapon to force him to give up Siena.
The Financial Sneer: By emphasizing that he paid for her apartment, she suggested the relationship was purely transactional, whereas we as viewers knew that Anthony was willing to give his life for her
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor Lady Violet dragged Anthony/The discovery of Anthony’s love affair with opera singer Siena Rosso/”A certain soprano”
