[1]
[2]
[3]
Categorie archief: Divers
Blessed and Happy Eid ul Adha 2026!
BLESSED AND HAPPY EID UL ADHA 2026!
To all muslims in the Netherlands and the rest of the World I wish a Blessed and Happy Eid ul Adha!
Astrid Essed
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Gezegend en Vrolijk Offerfeest 2026!
GEZEGEND EN VROLIJK OFFERFEEST 2026!
Aan alle moslims in Nederland een Gezegend en Vrolijk Offerfeest toegewenst!
Astrid Essed
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Bridgerton/Violet’s Dehumanization of Siena Rosso/”A Certain Soprano”
LADY VIOLET BRIDGERTON
ANTHONY BRIDGERTON
LADY VIOLET’S SON
SIENA ROSSO
ANTHONY AND SIENNA
BRIDGERTON/VIOLET’S DEHUMANIZATION OF SIENA ROSSO/”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
”YOUR NAME IS YOUR PASSPORT TO THE WORLD”
”BUT YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW….
To the outside World [and to her Fans] Violet may appear as a
”succesful wife and mother” and it might have seemed as if she
got away with everything, but Violet herself knows better.
She may have ”created” a dutiful eldest son, but by her
sabotage of his Love Affair with the woman who once was his whole World
she lost what she cherishes most in the world:
The Warm Love and Trust of her child
All that remains is what she hammered in him….his ”Duty….”
For a mother that is unbearable…”
HALLO FOLKS
Here she is again, with an important Post about a theme in the Bridgerton series, that is often overlooked, namely the dehumanization of opera singer Siena Rosso by Lady Violet, the mother of Siena”s lover Anthony Bridgerton. [1]
Now I wrote a lot about Violet [2], especially about her strained and complicated
relationship with her eldest son Anthony from the moment he became Head of the Family at the age of eighteen, watching his father Edmund die by a bee sting, which was a traumatic experience [3]
Violet too, watched her husband die, leading to a yearlong period of mourning grief [4]
I wrote about her unjustified harshness against Anthony, which manifested itself in
emotional neglect and coldness, emotional blackmail and unrealistic expectations [expecting that he managed the lands and the Estates as well as his deceased father, who had a lot experience, unlike his son] [5]
And what made it even worse for son Anthony was that she never showed any appreciation for all his efforts, only criticism, when things got wrong. [6]
Now on the one hand I understand her strictness, due to pressure of Regency Society [the Ton], where you could be socially excluded for a lesser mistake [7], but that’s no excuse for lack of motherly warmth and emotional neglect [8]
Mostly since Violet actually loved her son dearly [9]
But if he notices little to nothing of that love, it is of little use to him.
And of course there were a lot of issues, leading to Violet’s cold treatment
of her son [10], but that doesn’t exonerate her, especially since she DID show warmth towards her other children. [11]
The issues, leading to her coldness, were explanations, not excuses for her behavior.
SIENA ROSSO
So we’ve noticed that the relationship was already toxic and strained. [12]
HOWEVER:
The relationship reached the lowest point ever [and would never fully recover, even when, too late, Violet offered selective excuses, but not for her sabotage of Anthony’s Love Affair] [12A], when Violet discovered about the relationship between son Anthony and the opera singer Siena Rosso.
For her this was a big threat to the Family [13], for Anthony Siena was his whole world,
since he was deeply in love with her [14]
DISCOVERY
Now on a certain moment [I don’t know how, perhaps by incriminating papers in Anthony’s desk or
a portrait of Siena he cherished or perhaps Violet hired spies to follow him, she is toxic ”protective” enough for that…..] Violet discovered about the relationship of son
Anthony and the opera singer Siena Rosso.
And YES, she had a point about fearing social exclusion and death for the Family, esecially since Anthony was the Head of the Family [15] and was looked up to.
One ”misstep” of him could affect the whole family and a possible marriage between an aristocrat and an opera singer was a no go area inRegency Era, since opera singers were considered as ”immoral women” [16] and would directly have ruined the marriage prospects of his sisters [17]
[Not that such marriages NEVER took place, but only ”in the dark” [they kept it
secret] and when it came ”into the light” it caused a great scandal [18]]
So YES, she had some point to utter objections, but it was the WAY she did it……
VIOLET’S TOXIC WAY
CONFRONTATION AND DEHUMANIZATION
THIS IS WHAT VIOLET LITERALLY SAID TO HER SON ANTHONY
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
[19]
AGAIN
How she found out is her secret.
But fact is, that she confronted Anthony in hIs office and she did that on a most painful way!
With a honey sweet voice she opens her attack on Anthony:by reminding him of his responsibilities as the Head of the Household, [a recurring theme in her eternal tirades, while Anthony is doing the job as best as he can] [20], calling him ”Dear son” in a false tone.
But that’s only the beginning, because she saves the” best” for last, by suddenly asking him, whether he, upon leaving, will be returning to his ”bachelor lodgings” ”or[I quote Violet] ” or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit” [21]
But Violet wouldn’t be Violet if it stopped there….
After to have stated, that he was neglecting his duties, she noted, that he was relying on
his younger brothers to do the work he ”cannot” and she ends her tirade by asking him the devastating question of whether he is merely an older brother or ”the man in this house [22]
WHY THIS IS SO HURTFUL
Not only the dehumanization is hurtful, stripping someone of her individuality and identity [I will come to this later], but also the CONTEXT in which it happened.
WHOM VIOLET IS HURTING THE MOST?
”CERTAIN SOPRANO” AND SILENCING SIENA
.
For it is not Siena Rosso to whom Violet is speaking here, but to her own son. [23]
And whether she then knew that he loved her or not doesn’t matter:
Her son was involved with a woman, so there must be an emotional connection
[otherwise he doesn’t pay for her apartment] [24] and then it’s hurtful for him to hear his mother talking like that.
That that is less important to her-and I am putting it mildly, just show not
only how strained their relationship already was [25], but above all, that she apparently didn’t see
Siena Rosso [for of course Violet knows her name!] as a human being, a living woman with feelings, hopes and dreams [26], but merely as a scandal, as a danger to the Family.
Something her son should be ashamed of [27]
And what she didn’t seem to realize at all was that she was playing with fire, since her behaviour
caused not only deep emotional damage to her son, but also to their relationship! [28]
Because after the ”A Certain soprano” remark, Violet started a more subtle sabotage of Siena by not mentioning her name openly, but shaming and incriminating her son on a mean, subtle way [29], which caused great damage to their relationship, because how can you fight someone, who isn’t openly hostile against your loved one [30]
ANTHONY’S REACTION TO ” A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
The most painful part is perhaps Anthony’s reaction to his mother’s ”A Certain Soprano” tirade.
Well, does he yell, act defensively, or else….
The truth is, that he doesn’t react at all, no matter how painful it must
be for him.
Instead, his reaction is a mixture of wounded pride and a failed attempt at
indifference.
He tightens physically to swallow the blow of her words [31]
And maybe she thinks she has won, but in reality, she takes a crucial step that leads to a
growing estrangement between her and her son, since she doesn’t seem to realize the pain she inflicts on him by uttering such disparaging words [32]
And that estrangement is permament.
Even her selective excuses in Season 2 will not solve this [33]
”THE CERTAIN SOPRANO” EFFECT/STRIPPING PEOPLE OF THEIR NAMES IS INHUMANITY ITSELF”
Calling Siena ”A Certain Soprano” is not just a mean remark of a mean woman, who
is deliberately hateful, but [that’s the other side] is also worried about her son’s and Family’s Future [34], lashing out, completely overlooking [and that remains her ”crime”]
her son’s needs and emotions [35], because there are thousands of not offensive ways to say ”I don’t want her as my daughter in law….”, without completely humiliating a human being….
If it was only some hateful, stupid remark of a dominant, possessive mother, I wouldn’t dedicate a complete article to it, especially since I’ve already given ”Lady Violent”
a piece of my mind about this [36]
NO, THIS GOES FAR DEEPER THAN SOME NARROW MINDED TON MOTHER…..[37]
HUMANITY, IDENTITY, NAMES
Your name is your identity.
That’s who you are, where you come from, who you want to be in life, by which you
can be recognized.
Your name is your passport to the World.
And stripping someone from that one thing, that guarantees your humanity and
individuality, not only gives a great feeling of insecurity, but can lead to a deep trauma [38].
It’s often used in a Powerposition about others.
In the case of Violet it is clear.
She is a powerful Matriarch from noble descent and Siena is an opera singer from a lower class position.
Than it is easy to look down on someone and giving names.
SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION AND DEHUMANIZATION
In systems of oppression—such as colonization, extreme class societies, or totalitarian regimes—the very first step is always stripping away a person’s name. Individuals are reduced to a number, a category, an ethnicity, or—as seen with Siena—a professional function (“soprano”). [39]
Although I try to keep it light in the context of Bridgerton, I cannot escape delving deeper
into dehumanization
BLAME LADY VIOLENT, NOT ME:
SHE DID THE DEHUMANIZATION OF SIENA! [40]
And although Lady Violet did on a small scale what systems do on a
large scale [and Lady Violet is not a wicked villain, although destructive and manipulating , laced with a layer of deep love, yet doing her children, for example Anthony and later Francesca [Season 3] a lot of harm anyway] [41],
dehumanizing mechanisms work largely the same way.
De Dehumanizing Victims are denied their names, their dreams, their hopes, reduced to a ”number”, told that they are ”nothing”, their feelings are erased, they are treated like
”things”, not human beings or often ”subhumans” [[42]
You see that in slavery, colonialism, totalitarian regimes etc [43]
Dehumanizing does not always have to involve hard methods:
Far more dangerous is the so called ”Civilized Oppressor”, because that is much harder to recognize as an oppressor, because the appearance is often friendly and polite [44]
AI says about those tactics:
”
- The Real-World Connection: The most dangerous form of dehumanization rarely comes from overt monsters. Instead, it originates from the established elite who genuinely believe they are protecting “civilization, culture, or family legacy” (exactly like Lady Violet).” [45]
Indeed, Lady Violet uses the same tactics:
Under the guise of ”maternal concern” or ”good intentions” and seldom screaming [talking with a soft, polite voice and using words like ”My darling” or ”Dear son” to soften the blow] she manipulates and blackmails. [46]
DENYING THE RIGHT TO BE SEEN AS A HUMAN BEING
The Siena dehumanization of Lady Violet was therefore so painful,
because Violet probably didn’t realize that what she did to Siena was
the worst one human being can do to another.
The very denial for the right to be seen as a human being, with feelings, hopes, dreams, right to love and to be loved.
Right to live as a human being.
For Violet, she was just a ”phase”, a threat, a ”disease” her son had to recover from. [47]
While all Siena did was to love her son [48]
And even if Violet didn’t care about that, did she ever realize what her
hurting of Siena did with her son’s feelings?
His very soul
It was Siena of whom he thought when he cried out in
that dining room [Season 2]
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [49]
BUT YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW….
To the outside World [and to her Fans] Violet may appear as a
”succesfulL wife and mother” and it might have seemed as if she
got away with everything, but Violet herself knows better.
She may have ”created” a dutiful eldest son, but by her
sabotage of his Love Affair with the woman who once was his whole World
she lost what she cherishes most in the world:
The Warm Love and Trust of her child [50]
All that remains is what she hammered in him….his ”Duty….” [51]
For a mother that is unbearable….
FINAL WORDS ABOUT DEHUMANIZATION
SLAVERY AND THE JACQUERIE, THE UPRISING BECAUSE THEIR NAME WAS DENIED…….
The very dehumanization and inhumanity of slavery, beginning with
the ”stripping of the names” [52] is widely known
But another Oppression, of the Medieval poverty stricken peasants in Europe, was a form of dehumanization too.
And you know, Readers:
Of course in the French peasants revolt, the ”Jacquerie” [53] the bad social and economic position of the peasants in feudal France played a major role in the uprising [54]
But you know what?
There was more
What triggered and hurt the peasants deeply was not only their desperately poor state and the way they were cruelly exploited, reduced to subhumans [55], but also the fact, THAT THEY WERE DENIED A NAME.
All peasants were called the same by the nobility, namely ”Jaques” as if they were no human individuals [56]
VIOLET’S LOSS
And so we come back to Violet again and her dehumanization of Siena, the woman her son loved so deeply for long, long time, when she was
his ”hearthfire” while his mother’s house [and his mother] was cold as ice…..[57]
And we don’t compare
Slavery, feudalism and colonialism were major systems of oppression.
But by each oppression, great or small, you see the same patterns of disrespect, cruelty, inhumanity, whether it is a peasant being whipped or a ”high class” Lady, who wants an ”inferior” opera singer out of the life of her son [58]
But by forcing Siena out of the life of her son Anthony, leaving him
heartbroken without any comfort [59] and refusing excuses for her destructive role [60], she lost the Warmth and the Trust of her son.
By driving out Siena out of his life, she lost the loving son for good.
What remained was the ”dutiful” son she demanded in Season 1 [61]
And that was Violet’s real big loss.
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW, LADY VIOLENT
ASTRID ESSED
NOTES
NOTES 1 T/M 10
NOTES 11 T/M 14
NOTES 15 T/M 18
NOTE 19
NOTE 20
NOTE 21
NOTE 22
NOTE 23
NOTE 24
NOTE 25
NOTE 26
NOTE 27
NOTE 28
NOTE 29
NOTE 30
NOTE 31
NOTE 32
NOTE 33
NOTE 34
NOTE 35
NOTE 36
NOTE 37
NOTE 38
NOTE 39
NOTE 40
NOTE 41
NOTE 42
NOTE 43
NOTE 44
NOTE 45
NOTE 46
NOTE 47
NOTES 48 AND 49
NOTE 50
NOTE 51
NOTE 52
NOTE 53
NOTE 54
NOTE 55
NOTE 56
NOTE 57
NOTE 58
NOTE 59
NOTE 60
NOTE 61
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Violet’s Dehumanization of Siena Rosso/”A Certain Soprano”
LADY VIOLET BRIDGERTON
ANTHONY BRIDGERTON
LADY VIOLET’S SON
SIENA ROSSO
ANTHONY AND SIENNA
VIOLET’S DEHUMANIZATION OF SIENA ROSSO/”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
”YOUR NAME IS YOUR PASSPORT TO THE WORLD”
”BUT YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW….
To the outside World [and to her Fans] Violet may appear as a
”succesful wife and mother” and it might have seemed as if she
got away with everything, but Violet herself knows better.
She may have ”created” a dutiful eldest son, but by her
sabotage of his Love Affair with the woman who once was his whole World
she lost what she cherishes most in the world:
The Warm Love and Trust of her child
All that remains is what she hammered in him….his ”Duty….”
For a mother that is unbearable…”
HALLO FOLKS
Here she is again, with an important Post about a theme in the Bridgerton series, that is often overlooked, namely the dehumanization of opera singer Siena Rosso by Lady Violet, the mother of Siena”s lover Anthony Bridgerton. [1]
Now I wrote a lot about Violet [2], especially about her strained and complicated
relationship with her eldest son Anthony from the moment he became Head of the Family at the age of eighteen, watching his father Edmund die by a bee sting, which was a traumatic experience [3]
Violet too, watched her husband die, leading to a yearlong period of mourning grief [4]
I wrote about her unjustified harshness against Anthony, which manifested itself in
emotional neglect and coldness, emotional blackmail and unrealistic expectations [expecting that he managed the lands and the Estates as well as his deceased father, who had a lot experience, unlike his son] [5]
And what made it even worse for son Anthony was that she never showed any appreciation for all his efforts, only criticism, when things got wrong. [6]
Now on the one hand I understand her strictness, due to pressure of Regency Society [the Ton], where you could be socially excluded for a lesser mistake [7], but that’s no excuse for lack of motherly warmth and emotional neglect [8]
Mostly since Violet actually loved her son dearly [9]
But if he notices little to nothing of that love, it is of little use to him.
And of course there were a lot of issues, leading to Violet’s cold treatment
of her son [10], but that doesn’t exonerate her, especially since she DID show warmth towards her other children. [11]
The issues, leading to her coldness, were explanations, not excuses for her behavior.
SIENA ROSSO
So we’ve noticed that the relationship was already toxic and strained. [12]
HOWEVER:
The relationship reached the lowest point ever [and would never fully recover, even when, too late, Violet offered selective excuses, but not for her sabotage of Anthony’s Love Affair] [12A], when Violet discovered about the relationship between son Anthony and the opera singer Siena Rosso.
For her this was a big threat to the Family [13], for Anthony Siena was his whole world,
since he was deeply in love with her [14]
DISCOVERY
Now on a certain moment [I don’t know how, perhaps by incriminating papers in Anthony’s desk or
a portrait of Siena he cherished or perhaps Violet hired spies to follow him, she is toxic ”protective” enough for that…..] Violet discovered about the relationship of son
Anthony and the opera singer Siena Rosso.
And YES, she had a point about fearing social exclusion and death for the Family, esecially since Anthony was the Head of the Family [15] and was looked up to.
One ”misstep” of him could affect the whole family and a possible marriage between an aristocrat and an opera singer was a no go area inRegency Era, since opera singers were considered as ”immoral women” [16] and would directly have ruined the marriage prospects of his sisters [17]
[Not that such marriages NEVER took place, but only ”in the dark” [they kept it
secret] and when it came ”into the light” it caused a great scandal [18]]
So YES, she had some point to utter objections, but it was the WAY she did it……
VIOLET’S TOXIC WAY
CONFRONTATION AND DEHUMANIZATION
THIS IS WHAT VIOLET LITERALLY SAID TO HER SON ANTHONY
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
[19]
AGAIN
How she found out is her secret.
But fact is, that she confronted Anthony in hIs office and she did that on a most painful way!
With a honey sweet voice she opens her attack on Anthony:by reminding him of his responsibilities as the Head of the Household, [a recurring theme in her eternal tirades, while Anthony is doing the job as best as he can] [20], calling him ”Dear son” in a false tone.
But that’s only the beginning, because she saves the” best” for last, by suddenly asking him, whether he, upon leaving, will be returning to his ”bachelor lodgings” ”or[I quote Violet] ” or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit” [21]
But Violet wouldn’t be Violet if it stopped there….
After to have stated, that he was neglecting his duties, she noted, that he was relying on
his younger brothers to do the work he ”cannot” and she ends her tirade by asking him the devastating question of whether he is merely an older brother or ”the man in this house [22]
WHY THIS IS SO HURTFUL
Not only the dehumanization is hurtful, stripping someone of her individuality and identity [I will come to this later], but also the CONTEXT in which it happened.
WHOM VIOLET IS HURTING THE MOST?
”CERTAIN SOPRANO” AND SILENCING SIENA
.
For it is not Siena Rosso to whom Violet is speaking here, but to her own son. [23]
And whether she then knew that he loved her or not doesn’t matter:
Her son was involved with a woman, so there must be an emotional connection
[otherwise he doesn’t pay for her apartment] [24] and then it’s hurtful for him to hear his mother talking like that.
That that is less important to her-and I am putting it mildly, just show not
only how strained their relationship already was [25], but above all, that she apparently didn’t see
Siena Rosso [for of course Violet knows her name!] as a human being, a living woman with feelings, hopes and dreams [26], but merely as a scandal, as a danger to the Family.
Something her son should be ashamed of [27]
And what she didn’t seem to realize at all was that she was playing with fire, since her behaviour
caused not only deep emotional damage to her son, but also to their relationship! [28]
Because after the ”A Certain soprano” remark, Violet started a more subtle sabotage of Siena by not mentioning her name openly, but shaming and incriminating her son on a mean, subtle way [29], which caused great damage to their relationship, because how can you fight someone, who isn’t openly hostile against your loved one [30]
ANTHONY’S REACTION TO ” A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
The most painful part is perhaps Anthony’s reaction to his mother’s ”A Certain Soprano” tirade.
Well, does he yell, act defensively, or else….
The truth is, that he doesn’t react at all, no matter how painful it must
be for him.
Instead, his reaction is a mixture of wounded pride and a failed attempt at
indifference.
He tightens physically to swallow the blow of her words [31]
And maybe she thinks she has won, but in reality, she takes a crucial step that leads to a
growing estrangement between her and her son, since she doesn’t seem to realize the pain she inflicts on him by uttering such disparaging words [32]
And that estrangement is permament.
Even her selective excuses in Season 2 will not solve this [33]
”THE CERTAIN SOPRANO” EFFECT/STRIPPING PEOPLE OF THEIR NAMES IS INHUMANITY ITSELF”
Calling Siena ”A Certain Soprano” is not just a mean remark of a mean woman, who
is deliberately hateful, but [that’s the other side] is also worried about her son’s and Family’s Future [34], lashing out, completely overlooking [and that remains her ”crime”]
her son’s needs and emotions [35], because there are thousands of not offensive ways to say ”I don’t want her as my daughter in law….”, without completely humiliating a human being….
If it was only some hateful, stupid remark of a dominant, possessive mother, I wouldn’t dedicate a complete article to it, especially since I’ve already given ”Lady Violent”
a piece of my mind about this [36]
NO, THIS GOES FAR DEEPER THAN SOME NARROW MINDED TON MOTHER…..[37]
HUMANITY, IDENTITY, NAMES
Your name is your identity.
That’s who you are, where you come from, who you want to be in life, by which you
can be recognized.
Your name is your passport to the World.
And stripping someone from that one thing, that guarantees your humanity and
individuality, not only gives a great feeling of insecurity, but can lead to a deep trauma [38].
It’s often used in a Powerposition about others.
In the case of Violet it is clear.
She is a powerful Matriarch from noble descent and Siena is an opera singer from a lower class position.
Than it is easy to look down on someone and giving names.
SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION AND DEHUMANIZATION
In systems of oppression—such as colonization, extreme class societies, or totalitarian regimes—the very first step is always stripping away a person’s name. Individuals are reduced to a number, a category, an ethnicity, or—as seen with Siena—a professional function (“soprano”). [39]
Although I try to keep it light in the context of Bridgerton, I cannot escape delving deeper
into dehumanization
BLAME LADY VIOLENT, NOT ME:
SHE DID THE DEHUMANIZATION OF SIENA! [40]
And although Lady Violet did on a small scale what systems do on a
large scale [and Lady Violet is not a wicked villain, although destructive and manipulating , laced with a layer of deep love, yet doing her children, for example Anthony and later Francesca [Season 3] a lot of harm anyway] [41],
dehumanizing mechanisms work largely the same way.
De Dehumanizing Victims are denied their names, their dreams, their hopes, reduced to a ”number”, told that they are ”nothing”, their feelings are erased, they are treated like
”things”, not human beings or often ”subhumans” [[42]
You see that in slavery, colonialism, totalitarian regimes etc [43]
Dehumanizing does not always have to involve hard methods:
Far more dangerous is the so called ”Civilized Oppressor”, because that is much harder to recognize as an oppressor, because the appearance is often friendly and polite [44]
AI says about those tactics:
”
- The Real-World Connection: The most dangerous form of dehumanization rarely comes from overt monsters. Instead, it originates from the established elite who genuinely believe they are protecting “civilization, culture, or family legacy” (exactly like Lady Violet).” [45]
Indeed, Lady Violet uses the same tactics:
Under the guise of ”maternal concern” or ”good intentions” and seldom screaming [talking with a soft, polite voice and using words like ”My darling” or ”Dear son” to soften the blow] she manipulates and blackmails. [46]
DENYING THE RIGHT TO BE SEEN AS A HUMAN BEING
The Siena dehumanization of Lady Violet was therefore so painful,
because Violet probably didn’t realize that what she did to Siena was
the worst one human being can do to another.
The very denial for the right to be seen as a human being, with feelings, hopes, dreams, right to love and to be loved.
Right to live as a human being.
For Violet, she was just a ”phase”, a threat, a ”disease” her son had to recover from. [47]
While all Siena did was to love her son [48]
And even if Violet didn’t care about that, did she ever realize what her
hurting of Siena did with her son’s feelings?
His very soul
It was Siena of whom he thought when he cried out in
that dining room [Season 2]
”Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!” [49]
BUT YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW….
To the outside World [and to her Fans] Violet may appear as a
”succesfulL wife and mother” and it might have seemed as if she
got away with everything, but Violet herself knows better.
She may have ”created” a dutiful eldest son, but by her
sabotage of his Love Affair with the woman who once was his whole World
she lost what she cherishes most in the world:
The Warm Love and Trust of her child [50]
All that remains is what she hammered in him….his ”Duty….” [51]
For a mother that is unbearable….
FINAL WORDS ABOUT DEHUMANIZATION
SLAVERY AND THE JACQUERIE, THE UPRISING BECAUSE THEIR NAME WAS DENIED…….
The very dehumanization and inhumanity of slavery, beginning with
the ”stripping of the names” [52] is widely known
But another Oppression, of the Medieval poverty stricken peasants in Europe, was a form of dehumanization too.
And you know, Readers:
Of course in the French peasants revolt, the ”Jacquerie” [53] the bad social and economic position of the peasants in feudal France played a major role in the uprising [54]
But you know what?
There was more
What triggered and hurt the peasants deeply was not only their desperately poor state and the way they were cruelly exploited, reduced to subhumans [55], but also the fact, THAT THEY WERE DENIED A NAME.
All peasants were called the same by the nobility, namely ”Jaques” as if they were no human individuals [56]
VIOLET’S LOSS
And so we come back to Violet again and her dehumanization of Siena, the woman her son loved so deeply for long, long time, when she was
his ”hearthfire” while his mother’s house [and his mother] was cold as ice…..[57]
And we don’t compare
Slavery, feudalism and colonialism were major systems of oppression.
But by each oppression, great or small, you see the same patterns of disrespect, cruelty, inhumanity, whether it is a peasant being whipped or a ”high class” Lady, who wants an ”inferior” opera singer out of the life of her son [58]
But by forcing Siena out of the life of her son Anthony, leaving him
heartbroken without any comfort [59] and refusing excuses for her destructive role [60], she lost the Warmth and the Trust of her son.
By driving out Siena out of his life, she lost the loving son for good.
What remained was the ”dutiful” son she demanded in Season 1 [61]
And that was Violet’s real big loss.
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW, LADY VIOLENT
ASTRID ESSED
NOTES
NOTES 1 T/M 10
NOTES 11 T/M 14
NOTES 15 T/M 18
NOTE 19
NOTE 20
NOTE 21
NOTE 22
NOTE 23
NOTE 24
NOTE 25
NOTE 26
NOTE 27
NOTE 28
NOTE 29
NOTE 30
NOTE 31
NOTE 32
NOTE 33
NOTE 34
NOTE 35
NOTE 36
NOTE 37
NOTE 38
NOTE 39
NOTE 40
NOTE 41
NOTE 42
NOTE 43
NOTE 44
NOTE 45
NOTE 46
NOTE 47
NOTES 48 AND 49
NOTE 50
NOTE 51
NOTE 52
NOTE 53
NOTE 54
NOTE 55
NOTE 56
NOTE 57
NOTE 58
NOTE 59
NOTE 60
NOTE 61
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor Violet’s Dehumanization of Siena Rosso/”A Certain Soprano”
Opgeslagen onder Divers
NOTE 61
[61]
AI
1. Weaponizing the Dead Father (The Ultimate Guilt Trip)
Instead of arguing about Siena, Violet compares Anthony to his late father to make him feel inadequate. She uses phrases like:
- “Your father never avoided his duties.”
- “Edmund loved this family fiercely, Anthony. He put our standing above all else.”
The Psychology: By constantly holding up Edmund as an impossible standard, Violet implies that Anthony’s love for Siena is a betrayal of his father’s legacy. She makes Anthony feel that being with Siena makes him a “failure” as a son and a Viscount.
2. Accusations of Neglecting Duty
Violet frames Anthony’s time spent with Siena entirely as “neglect” and laziness, rather than a genuine romantic relationship. She drops comments about:
- The ledgers being left unattended.
- Anthony missing social calls or being late to family events.
- Leaving his sisters unprotected in the marriage mart.
The Psychology: This is how she demonizes Siena indirectly. By making Anthony feel guilty for “neglecting” his family, she turns Siena into the “temptation” or the “distraction” that is ruining the Bridgerton household. She doesn’t need to call Siena immoral; she just makes Anthony feel like a bad brother whenever he is with her.
3. The Polite Erasure (Silence as a Weapon)
In the actual show, Violet’s greatest weapon against Siena is complete silence. She refuses to acknowledge Siena exists. When Anthony is heartbroken, she does not comfort him; she immediately hands him a list of eligible debutantes.
The Psychology: This silence is incredibly cruel. By acting as if Siena is invisible, Violet tells Anthony that his heartbreak doesn’t matter. To Violet, Siena is just a temporary “phase” that Anthony needs to get over so he can fulfill his real purpose: marrying a lady of the ton.
https://www.google.com/search?
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor NOTE 61
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NOTE 60
[60]
VIOLET’S SELECTIVE EXCUSES
VIOLET’S EXCUSES
[Almost literal text]
” “I am your mother, Anthony. And I owe you more apologies than I can ever possibly articulate. After your father died, I… I was not there. The grief was… it was all-consuming. And I allowed you to take on a burden that was too heavy for anyone, let alone an eighteen-year-old boy. I am so sorry. I failed you, Anthony. I failed to be a mother to you when you needed me most.”
…..
….
”””I am so sorry it was you who was with your father that day. And I am sorry for everything that happened in the days that followed. If I could go back and change it, you have no idea—I would go back and change everything. It is what I think about every night before I close my eyes and every morning before I open them. It will never go away.”
ANTHONY’S REACTION
Anthony: “There is no need for apologies. The past is the past.”
AI OVERVIEW
The Half-Apology: Why True Forgiveness is Impossible
Anthony’s reaction to Violet’s peace offering in Season 2 is calculated and distant because he knows she is still avoiding the core of the issue:
- The Unspoken Awareness: Anthony is fully aware that his mother saw his love for Siena and chose to sabotage it. Because he knows that she knows, her selective apology—focusing only on her grief for his father—feels incomplete and hollow to him.
- The Lukewarm Acceptance: This is why he accepts her excuses without any real warmth or enthusiasm. He performs the “dutiful son” one last time by nodding along, but he does not let her back into his heart. He gives her the politeness she requires, but denies her the intimacy she craves.
- The Self-Imposed Barrier: As you noted, by not being honest about Siena, Violet robs herself of the chance to be truly forgiven. Real forgiveness requires a full confession of the debt, and since she refuses to mention the “everything” he sacrificed, the debt remains between them.
- A Relationship of Form over Substance: The result is a relationship that remains functional but emotionally stunted. They may share a home and a name, but they no longer share a soul, because Violet is too afraid to face the reality of what she took from him.
The Bottom Line: Anthony’s coldness is the “price” Violet pays for her silence. She wanted him to be the Viscount of the house, and in doing so, she became a guest in his life rather than a confidante. By avoiding the truth about Siena, she secured her social standing but lost her son’s trust forever.
SEE ALSO THE PSYCHOLOGICAL QUESTION ASTRID ESSED ASKED AND THE ANSWER SHE RECEIVED…
GUESTION:
WHEN A MOTHER HAS SABOTAGED THE RELATIONSHIP OF HER SON BY SHAMING HIS LOVE, BUT LATER EXCUSES FOR OTHERSERIOUS FAULTS SHE MADE, BUT DOESN’T
MAKE EXCUSES FOR THE SABOTAGE, WILL THAT LEAD TO DAMAGE IN THEIR
FURTHER RELATIONSHIP?
AI OVERVIEW
Yes, this dynamic will almost certainly lead to long-term damage in their relationship. In psychology, a mother’s sabotage of her son’s romantic life is often tied to toxic enmeshment. By avoiding accountability for this specific pain, she signals a lack of true remorse. [1, 2]
The Impact of Selective Accountability
- Invalidation: Deflecting responsibility for minor faults while ignoring the deepest wound invalidates the son’s lived experience and the reality of his emotional pain. [1]
- Conditional Apologies: Excusing certain behaviors but minimizing others shows that the mother is more focused on preserving her image or avoiding shame than she is on repairing the emotional damage caused by her control. [1]
- Trust Erosion: True reconciliation requires acknowledging the core betrayal. Without it, the son will likely realize that the sabotage could happen again, leading to persistent guardedness. [1]
Common Psychological Dynamics
- The “Mother Wound”: A mother who is overly critical of or competitive with her son’s romantic partners can leave deep psychological impacts, such as chronic guilt, an inability to commit, and attachment issues. [1, 2]
- Lack of Boundaries: When a parent interferes with a child’s romantic life, it frequently stems from a failure to recognize the son as an independent adult. [1, 2]
- Forced Loyalty: The son is placed in an impossible loyalty bind—choosing either a romantic partner or his mother. [1]
Because selective apologies do not address the root causes of toxic family bonds, relationships in this situation often plateau, with the son resorting to surface-level interaction or stepping back to protect his peace
OR
When a mother has sabotaged the relationship of her son by shaming his love, and later offers excuses for other serious faults she made, but doesn”t make excuses for the sabotage, will that lead to damage in their further relationship?
ANSWER
AI
Yes, this behavior will almost certainly cause severe, long-term damage to their relationship. When a mother selectively apologizes for minor faults while ignoring major emotional sabotage, it prevents true healing.
Why Selective Apologies Cause Damage
- Invalidates the son’s pain: Ignoring the sabotage signals that his romantic choices and emotional pain do not matter.
- Breaks fundamental trust: Shaming a child’s love is a deep betrayal that is hard to overlook without explicit accountability.
- Creates a surface-level relationship: The bond becomes superficial because the elephant in the room is never addressed.
- Triggers resentment: The son will likely feel anger every time she expects closeness without earning it back.
- Demonstrates lack of insight: It shows the mother is either unaware of her destructiveness or unwilling to face her biggest mistakes.
Potential Outcomes for Their Future
- Emotional detachment: The son may physically show up for family events but completely withdraw emotionally.
- Strict boundaries: The son might heavily restrict what information he shares about his personal life to protect future partners.
- Estrangement: If the mother continues to avoid accountability, the son may eventually cut contact entirely.
What Is Missing for True Healing
- Direct acknowledgment: The mother must explicitly name the sabotage and the shaming.
- Validation of impact: She needs to acknowledge exactly how much pain and damage her actions caused.
- A sincere apology: A real apology requires expressing genuine remorse without making excuses or shifting blame.
- Changed behavior: She must demonstrate a permanent shift by respecting his autonomy and his relationships moving forward.
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor NOTE 60
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NOTE 59
[59]
”In the actual show, Violet’s greatest weapon against Siena is complete silence. She refuses to acknowledge Siena exists. When Anthony is heartbroken, she does not comfort him; she immediately hands him a list of eligible debutantes.”
AI
1. Weaponizing the Dead Father (The Ultimate Guilt Trip)
Instead of arguing about Siena, Violet compares Anthony to his late father to make him feel inadequate. She uses phrases like:
- “Your father never avoided his duties.”
- “Edmund loved this family fiercely, Anthony. He put our standing above all else.”
The Psychology: By constantly holding up Edmund as an impossible standard, Violet implies that Anthony’s love for Siena is a betrayal of his father’s legacy. She makes Anthony feel that being with Siena makes him a “failure” as a son and a Viscount.
2. Accusations of Neglecting Duty
Violet frames Anthony’s time spent with Siena entirely as “neglect” and laziness, rather than a genuine romantic relationship. She drops comments about:
- The ledgers being left unattended.
- Anthony missing social calls or being late to family events.
- Leaving his sisters unprotected in the marriage mart.
The Psychology: This is how she demonizes Siena indirectly. By making Anthony feel guilty for “neglecting” his family, she turns Siena into the “temptation” or the “distraction” that is ruining the Bridgerton household. She doesn’t need to call Siena immoral; she just makes Anthony feel like a bad brother whenever he is with her.
3. The Polite Erasure (Silence as a Weapon)
In the actual show, Violet’s greatest weapon against Siena is complete silence. She refuses to acknowledge Siena exists. When Anthony is heartbroken, she does not comfort him; she immediately hands him a list of eligible debutantes.
The Psychology: This silence is incredibly cruel. By acting as if Siena is invisible, Violet tells Anthony that his heartbreak doesn’t matter. To Violet, Siena is just a temporary “phase” that Anthony needs to get over so he can fulfill his real purpose: marrying a lady of the ton.
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor NOTE 59
Opgeslagen onder Divers
NOTE 58
[58]
1. The Dehumanization of “The Professional”
- The Insight: Violet hides behind the rigid rules of the ton to treat Siena as a commodity rather than a human being.
- How to frame it: By reducing Siena strictly to her vocal category (“soprano”), Violet attempts to strip away her character, her pride, and her personal identity. She treats Siena like an instrument Anthony can play and put away, rather than a woman capable of deep, mutual love. [1, 2]
2. Weaponized Class Hypocrisy
- The Insight: As your article points out, the aristocracy happily used theater women for entertainment but cast them out socially.
- How to frame it: Violet acts as the ultimate gatekeeper of this hypocrisy. Her demonization paints Siena as a dangerous “scandal” or a “golddigger,” completely ignoring that Siena is an independent working woman who literally has to sing for her financial survival. Violet reframes Siena’s self-preservation as malicious intent. [1, 2, 3]
3. Emotional Blackmail and the Family Legacy
- The Insight: Violet uses emotional violence against her own son, making him feel ashamed of his purest feelings.
- How to frame it: Violet’s demonization of Siena is a proxy war against Anthony’s autonomy. By flattening Siena into an “immoral” threat, Violet successfully weaponizes Anthony’s duty as Viscount against his heart, creating a permanent psychological rift between mother and son. [1, 2, 3]
4. Co-opting the Title of “Advocate of Love”
- The Insight: Violet prides herself on wanting “love matches” for her children, making her targeted cruelty toward Siena exceptionally hypocritical. [1]
- How to frame it: You can highlight the irony that Violet only advocates for love when it fits neatly within the wealthy, protected bubble of the ton. When confronted with a love that challenges social boundaries, her “best intentions” warp into a destructive force
THIS IS WHAT VIOLET LITERALLY SAID TO HER SON ANTHONY
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor NOTE 58
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NOTE 57
[57]
WHAT SHE WAS TO ANTHONY
For a long time, she was the hearth fire by which Anthony warmed himself against the cold walls of Aubrey Hall and a mother, who emotionally neglected him, though she loved him in her heart.
With her, he could be himself for a moment, with someone who saw him as a man to be loved, not as a Viscount with duties.
Reacties uitgeschakeld voor NOTE 57
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