[1]
[2]
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”By the death of the patriarch and father of Anthony, Edmund, his wife Violet is so
deep in mourning, that Anthony has to take full responsibility for not only the Estate and Household [as the head of the family], but also as the ”caretaker” and surrogate father of his younger brothers and sisters
When Lady Violet resumes her tasks as matriarch again, she is still mourning, often not
realizing that Anthony, even though he is the judicial head of the family, needs the
love of his mother too.”
[5]
”While she is tender towards her 7 children,especially daughter Daphne, she often treats Anthony, unintentionally, with severe harshness, coldness and even cruelty, by consistently
scolding him and pointing mercilessly on his duties [making cruel remarks like ”O my dear son, your father should have been soooo disappointed], without giving him room for
a break or even mourning his dead father [by saying ”Stop mourning, it’s ten years now, while she herself takes all the time for mourning]”
[6]
”How immense the burden is for an 18 year old boy is something that Lady Violet doesn’t realize at all, until much later.
She forces him [as is his task as head of the family] to arrange the marriage and the debut of his sister Daphne and of course he makes some mistakes, but Lady Violet, instead of
understanding that he has to learn from his mistakes, jumps on him like a tigress defending her offspring [in this case Daphne] and
scolding him without mercy.
So the twisted thing was:
They were not only Mother and Son, but also Matriarch [Violet]
and legal head of the Family [son Anthony]
Despite her deep love for Anthony, Violet saw him as the Viscount [who had to arrange the business of the Family], but at the same time she treated him not
so much as her son, but as a child, scolding him severely and mercilessly,
without any compassion and tenderness a child needs.
[7]
”
- Missteps: Even minor actions, like improper riding habits (not riding side-saddle) or letting hair down in public, could tarnish a lady’s image, according to a Reddit user.
- Appearance: Appearing in public with untidy hair or wearing inappropriate attire could cause scandal”
AI OVERVIEW
AI
Social ruin in the Regency era (approx. 1811–1820) for the Ton—high society—meant the total loss of reputation, ostracization, and exclusion from elite circles due to broken social etiquette, scandal, or financial ruin. A single lapse in propriety, particularly for women, could destroy marital prospects and family standing permanently.
Key Causes of Social Ruin:
- For Women (Loss of Virtue): Being unchaperoned with a man, eloping, public scandals, or premarital sex.
- For Men (Loss of Honor): Failing to pay gambling debts, cowardice, or failing to protect their reputation.
- Behavioral Transgressions: Using improper language, acting in a way that suggests low breeding, or failing to secure a desirable match.
- Public Exposure: Falling out of favor with fashionable leaders or becoming the subject of gossip columns, as discussed in Mental Floss.
Reddit +4
Consequences of Ruin:
- Ostracization: Shunned at balls, Almack’s, and polite society.
- Marriage Failure: A tarnished woman often failed to secure a good marriage or was forced into a reputation-saving, yet undesirable, marriage.
- Family Impact: Scandalous behavior from one family member could tarnish the reputation of the entire family, limiting the prospects of siblings, as discussed on the Historical Emporium.
Historical Emporium +1
Key Scenarios:
- Lydia Bennet in Pride and Prejudice: Her elopement nearly destroys her family’s social standing.
- Missteps: Even minor actions, like improper riding habits (not riding side-saddle) or letting hair down in public, could tarnish a lady’s image, according to a Reddit user.
- Appearance: Appearing in public with untidy hair or wearing inappropriate attire could cause scandal
GOOGLE SEARCH ON ”’SOCIAL RUIN IN THE REGENCY ERA/TON
SEE ALSO
https://www.astridessed.nl/
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”REASONS FOR VIOLET’S HARSHNESS, TENDING TO CRUELTY
Firstly
Violet doesnt realize her own harshness and as far as she sees it, she thinks she must harden
Anthony for his role as patriarch of the family in a relentless social Regency Era, where one
misstep could cause social death
And that threat of social death, especially concerning the marriage chances of
her daughters, is the reason for her harshness against Anthony in a time, that missteps
were not forgiven
So, because of that situation, she is extremely strict against him, culminating in cruelty, which hurts him deeply, especially given her tenderness to her other children.
She also fails to see his needs because of her deep mourning.
Then there is the unequal position of men and women.
As head of the Family, Anthony is now managing the Family Estates, while his mother is financially subordinate.
And as a strong willed woman, Violet finds that hard to accept.
Then, as an eldest son, Anthony bears all the responsibility for the family.
How immense the burden is for an 18 year old boy is something that Lady Violet doesn’t realize at all, until much later.
She forces him [as is his task as head of the family] to arrange the marriage and the debut of his sister Daphne and of course he makes some mistakes, but Lady Violet, instead of
understanding that he has to learn from his mistakes, jumps on him like a tigress defending her offspring [in this case Daphne] and
scolding him without mercy.
So the twisted thing was:
They were not only Mother and Son, but also Matriarch [Violet]
and legal head of the Family [son Anthony]
Despite her deep love for Anthony, Violet saw him as the Viscount [who had to arrange the business of the Family], but at the same time she treated him not
so much as her son, but as a child, scolding him severely and mercilessly,
without any compassion and tenderness a child needs.”